Accidental Pen Pals
by restive nature
Summary: All she asked for was a little help on a school project... but this IS Dawn we're talking about here.
1. Kerouac Style

**Title: Accidental Pen Pals**

Chapter Title: Kerouac Style

Author: Restive Nature

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to BtVS or Dark Angel. They belong respectively to Whedon & Mutant Enemy and to Cameron/ Eglee. No infringement is intended and this fiction is for private enjoyment only.

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Crossover

Type: Friendship/ Humor

Pairing: Dawn/ Joshua (as friends)

Summary: All she asked for was a little help on a school project... but this IS Dawn we're talking about here.

Spoilers/ Time line: This is Season 7 for BtVS and Season 2 for Dark Angel. But things have been skewed for BtVS so that the show fits into the Dark Angel format of Post-Pulse. The airings of the episodes for each will not quite match up. In BtVS, it is after the first few episodes and Willow has returned. In Dark Angel, it is several episodes in and Joshua has been living in Sandeman's house for some time and has been painting, but has not met Annie at all.

Feedback: Always welcome!

Distribution: Ask first please.

A/N: This is a response to the Pen Pals Challenge as follows:

_The BtVS/AtS character of your choice and the crossover character of your_

_choice become pen pals._

_How does it happen?_

_Why do they discuss?_

_Do they ever meet?_

_Is romance in the air? Or just friendship? Maybe intense dislike?_

**Accidental Pen Pals**

**Chapter One**

**Kerouac Style**

Dawn was tired and worn out, yet strangely high after getting home with her sister from school that day. Buffy was still settling into the routine which had just shifted again with the new routine that they had been expecting, but had just begun this month. Both Dawn and Buffy had known that this was going to be extremely stressful, the re-opening of the Sunnydale High School. Dawn didn't have to go over everything again in her mind. Being located over the Hellmouth was enough to say. It said it all.

And being attacked by controlled Zombies and being dragged down to the basement on her very first day had been a special welcome that Dawn could have done without. But that at least had garnered her first friendships at high school, with Kit and Carlos, who were probably just as much of outcasts as it looked like Dawn was going to be. It had also garnered Buffy an offer of a part time job. And while it did not pay much, at least it was money coming in, some security and stability, which Child Protective Services would be happy about and it positioned Buffy ever better than they could have hoped.

So now, her older sister, the Vampire Slayer, was able to hang around the school, to watch out for demonic activity and trouble, without raising eyebrows and constantly having to come up with excuses. Buffy could only check on Dawn physically so many times before the teachers would do something about it.

"So you got homework this weekend, Dawnie?" Buffy asked of her younger sister after she had stowed her coat and purse at the coat rack next to the front door. Dawn had already toted her back pack over to the dining room table and was pulling out her chair. One of the agreements that she and Buffy had was that she'd get her homework done immediately after school and before weekends, so that she had it done in case of any problems coming up. Whether it was Hellmouth related or not.

"Just a few things left," Dawn answered as she positioned the chair she chosen to seat herself in to her liking. Her sister nodded approvingly, stroking Dawn's hair once as she passed by.

"I'll go get us a snack then, huh?"

Her sister didn't bother to wait for Dawn's reply, which didn't bother Dawn. Buffy, now that she had settled into the routine of trying to be the responsible adult, not that she would say Mom, because both Buffy and Dawn admitted readily that she couldn't replace Joyce Summers, but still, it was a lot easier than it had first been. And snacks after school was something they always had. Dawn dug the two notebooks out of her backpack that she needed. She could hear her sister looking through the refrigerator and leaned over to catch her attention.

"Hey, do you think Willow would let me borrow her laptop tonight?" she called out. There was a pause and then Buffy's head popped into view.

"She said it was fine if you needed it for school," Buffy reminded her. "Is it for school?" Dawn nodded quickly.

"We got an assignment in government today," she explained, referencing one of her classes, pulling the worksheet out in case Buffy wanted to confirm things. "We're supposed to contact the Chamber of Commerce in each of three cities in one state and gather information on all sorts of stuff," Dawn gave her older sister a quick overview. It was a fairly simple seeming assignment, but Dawn could see that it was going to get very involved. "It's a quarter long assignment," she went on as Buffy came closer to look at the sheet that Dawn held out to her, nodding as well. "We get to give presentations about the cities we learn about."

"Kind of Kerouac in the classroom, huh?" Buffy grinned at her sister. She kind of liked the idea. It wasn't as if she could offer to take Dawn on a tour of the United States and judging from Xander's refusal still to talk about his cross country road trip that wasn't, she did not especially like the idea of unleashing her still under aged teenage sister on the unsuspecting world.

"Pretty much," Dawn agreed. "We're supposed to pick a large city everyone is familiar with, a moderately sized one and a small town. The qualifications are listed on the sheet."

"So do you get to pick your state? Or were they assigned?" Buffy wondered.

"They were assigned," Dawn sighed. She could see her sisters eyes were calculating. "And no one got California. Mr. Bern thought that was too easy."

"Oh please, say you got Hawaii," Buffy teasingly pleaded. "If it was school and work related, we could so take a vacation there."

Dawn grinned widely. That had been her thought too when Mr. Bern had been handing out the note cards with each students assigned state. "Nah, I got Washington."

"D.C?" Buffy's brows furrowed and then she quickly corrected herself. "Which is a district and not a state. So hence Washington state. Do you know which cities you're gonna pick?"

"Well, I'm thinking Seattle, cause it's well known, but I'm not sure about the others," Dawn offered. "That's why I need the computer. To research the towns and pick some, and also to get the addresses for their Chambers, so I can mail off these letters." She pulled the form letters that the teacher had provided from the information pack and let her sister see. They were a quick overview of the project and the kind of things the students would need to accrue for the project. "Mr. Bern also said that we should pick several places, since there was no guarantee that the city would respond."

"Yeah," Buffy scoffed, "but don't most of them have like a tourism thing that you could go through?" Dawn nodded.

"That would probably be the easiest way," she agreed. Even as she read the letters more thoroughly, Buffy continued to play with Dawn's long brown hair. It was a long standing habit she had and Dawn doubted that they'd ever grow out of it.

"All right then," Buffy agreed, setting the sheets down. "As soon as Willow is home, ask to borrow the laptop. There are envelopes and stamps in the drawer of the hall desk. Anything else?"

"Just three questions in algebra that I didn't get a chance to finish," Dawn assured her. Buffy grinned and headed back to the kitchen.

"So definitely snack time then," she deiced.

As Dawn had inferred and already knew, it was no problem to borrow Willow's laptop. And in fact, Willow had added to Dawn's ideas of what cities to contact, having been up there when she was younger, visiting relatives with her parents. Of course, that had been back before the Pulse had occurred. Willow had, of course pointed out that a lot of the bigger cities had it worse than the smaller towns in some terms. Sunnydale itself, that seemed to come with a selective memory wipe about major events the moment a person moved in, was unable to ignore this happening as it was a countrywide scale attack that caused ripples around the world.

But true to the American spirit, they had persevered and the country was slowly moving on. True there was more corruption around, but again, that didn't seem to affect Sunnydale. It was still demons and vampires ahoy, always would be. After ten years, it was just another fact of life, although Buffy had commented once that she was extremely glad that she wasn't the slayer when it occurred. She could only imagine the chaos that would have ensued while humans were panicking over that. Giles had simply shuddered at his memories and knowledge of the demons that had come out of the woodwork, only to be beaten back by every ounce of strength that the Slayer and watcher's council could muster. It had taken a while, but things eventually went back to the status quo, with the Hellmouth being the major concern.

Willow had echoed Buffy's suggestion to Dawn that she try locating tourism bureaus along with the chambers of commerce, since it broadened her scope of information and the likelihood that she would be answered.

Dawn had considered that and agreed, but it was when she was narrowing her list down to her top three choices for each of the required cities or townships, that Buffy popped her head back into the dining room. Her hands still had traces of dish soap bubbles, proof that she was hurrying through the dishes.

"Hey Dawnie, didn't one of your friends from junior high move to Seattle?" she asked and Dawn glanced up at her sister in surprise. Buffy actually remembered something to do with her sister from a few years ago.

"Uh yeah," Dawn answered after she thought for a moment to recall the girls name. They hadn't actually been close friends, but Jeanine had been to all the same slumber parties that Dawn had, so, ergo Buffy logic. "Jeanine and her family moved there just after seventh grade started. Why?"

"Well I was thinking," Buffy quickly wiped her hands on the towel draped over her shoulder, to prevent dripping, though the soap was now running down her arms, "that maybe you could write to her as well and see if she'd send you some of that stuff. Or maybe kind of get, like a insider's look at the seamier side of Seattle."

"You've been waiting to use that alliteration all night, haven't ya Buff?" Willow grinned from her paperwork that she was studying. Dawn had wondered what it was, but it could have been any number of things ranging from homework from the Coven to whatever new big bad was going to pop up this year.

"Just an hour or so," Buffy grinned.

"That'd be fine," Dawn nodded and then realized the major problem inherent in that. "Except, I don't think I have her address. I mean, she gave it to everyone before she moved but I don't think I kept it."

"Oh, okay," Buffy shrugged. "It was just an idea." And unperturbed, she returned to her chore.

"You know," Willow pointed out reasonably, "if you know her parents names, you could probably look her address up on line."

"I could, maybe I will," Dawn offered. Her pencil scratched along the paper as she finally weighed the careful thought in her mind and then slashed through the loser of the final choice. "There, I've decided."

"So where are you going to write Dawnie?" Willow asked curiously, leaning forward.

"Well, for the three major cities, I'm going with Seattle, Tacoma and Spokane," Dawn explained as she slid the list over to her redheaded friend. "And then I was thinking Mount Vernon, since it's fairly well known and Okanagon, because I might be able to work something in about the Okanagan lake monster up in British Columbia."

"An interesting idea," Willow mused, pursing her lips and then nodding. "As long as you stay in the realm of the fictitious."

"Yeah, totally," Dawn agreed. She heard one last clink of dishes upon dishes and then Buffy returned to the room, this time bearing a different towel with which to dry her hands. She moved to stand beside Willow and read off the list to herself from over her friends shoulder.

"There's a town in Washington called Starbucks?" she demanded wryly. "Is that where they make all the coffee? 'Cause if the trip to Hawaii is out, then I vote we go there."

"It's Starbuck, Buffy," Willow chuckled, "emphasis on the uck and oh that suddenly sounded bad coming out of my mouth because I am suddenly realizing what rhymes with that." She threw an apologetic look at her best friend.

"And now so is Dawn," Buffy pointed out. "But seriously Dawn, Forks?"

"What?" Dawn protested, even though her eyes were twinkling. That had been the city she had been deliberating over. And had finally chosen, for more reason than what her sister would obviously be thinking.

"Aside from the fact the you go into guy coma every time Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner are mentioned, I don't think there's much more about the town you can report."

"Well that's exactly it," Dawn enthused. "See, there really wasn't anything about Forks until they shot the movie there. So now it's all bundling industry. It'll be cool to explain the good changes and the bad changes because of international attention to a little town."

Both the older women stared at her for a moment, gaging the sincerity of the teen's words. She felt herself squirming guiltily under the weight of the combined looks.

"Okay, and it would be easy to research because they just put out a Twilight documentary about Forks and I so want to get it," Dawn added as quickly as possible. "Please, please, please Buffy!"

"We'll see Dawn," Buffy chuckled, gleeful at having sussed out the truth so easily. "Try the old fashioned way first and then we'll see about using the cliff notes version. Or, can they be called cliff notes when it's a video?" she asked of Willow, who shrugged and slid the list back to the teen. Dawn picked it up and slid the sheet into the appropriate folder. Now all she had to do was address the envelopes, put in the cover letters and mail them off and even Buffy wouldn't expect her to do that tonight, since hey, night falling, Vampires on the loose.

"Well, it's about that time," Buffy sighed, glancing out the front window. Darkness had fallen while they were busy. She started moving off to the front door to retrieve her coat and her weapons. "I shouldn't be out too late. Just make a quick sweep around town and then I'll be back. Dawn, in bed by eleven."

"Okay Buff," she smiled back. That was one of the rules as well and Dawn had no problem with it since weekends were made for sleeping in. "You got your cell phone?"

Buffy held up her soft pink model that was nearly identical to the model that she had purchased as a back to school gift for Dawn. It had taken them a while to be in the position to afford the phones and cell plans that went along with them and Dawn had so far used hers judiciously. She didn't think Buffy would take it away from her because it had already proven itself invaluable as a weapon. But she was still mindful of two things. One, that they didn't have unlimited amounts of money to pay for extra texting, and at this point, there were very few people that Dawn had in her circle of friends that had cell phones as well.

"Dawn?" Mr. Bern called quietly after nearly all of the other students had filed out of the classroom. Three weeks since the start of school had passed. Over two weeks since she had sent her letters to the different townships in Washington State. And of course, it was just her luck that today, they'd had to report on their progress with the project and she was the only one in class that wasn't in place to move ahead. All because stupid Seattle, Tacoma and Spokane hadn't responded. Dumb cities. Stupid Chambers of Cretins. "A moment please?"

Dawn adjusted the strap of her back pack over her shoulder and waited as Kit gave her a sympathetic look. It was nice that they actually had one class together, though it had been a surprise to them that first afternoon. For some reason, they'd never gotten around to discussing their schedules when being herded around the school basement by the zombies of hell.

"Yes, Mr. Bern?" she asked quietly, wondering what kind of trouble she was going to be in and what kind of lecture she was facing and thankful that at least Mr. Bern had the good sense to approach her in private, rather than lambasting her in front of her classmates as some teachers were prone to do.

"Well Dawn," Mr. Bern began, leaning back in his chair and looking up at her tall form. "I note that you're having a bit of a problem with your project. I thought we could discuss that quickly. Or is there somewhere you needed to be?"

Dawn quickly shook her head in the negative. "Well," she quickly amended, "I have to meet my sister. I ride home with her."

"Miss Summers, Buffy?" Mr. Bern smiled gently and then nodded. "Will she wait?"

Dawn nodded. "She'll understand or come looking for me, since she knows my schedule."

"All right then, we'll make it quick," he decided and then gestured at one of the front seats. Dawn understood and gracefully slid into it, letting her back pack slide down her arm and settling it onto the floor. Mr. Bern leaned forward, clasping his hands together. "Now Dawn, I am aware that you've been unfortunate enough to have not received any return information from any of the three major cities that you chose." Dawn nodded, a small frown playing at her lips as she tried to figure out where he was leading up to. "Honestly," he continued, letting out a small chuckle, "I didn't really foresee that kind of a problem."

"Neither did I," Dawn agreed with a small laugh of her own. At least he didn't seem upset with her.

"So here's how I see things as they stand," Mr. Bern nodded slowly. "We're going to have to find something so that you can keep up with the rest of the class."

"Well actually, my sister had an idea," Dawn volunteered immediately. Mr. Bern perked his face up and gestured for Dawn to continue. "See, there was a girl in my class in junior high and she moved to Seattle. We were thinking that maybe I could write to her and see if she could help. Actually, Buffy thought she could give me like, an insider's look at the city, not just what the tourism board sends out." She held her breath for a moment as she watched her teacher process the idea.

"That's a good idea," he decided, "though I can see a few pitfalls."

"Like Jeanine might not remember me," Dawn sighed.

"Or perhaps they might have moved on again," Mr Bern added. He loosed his hands to rub a finger over his chin in a thoughtful manner as he leaned back in his chair. "I'll tell you what Dawn, you go ahead and write to your friend and see if she can help you out. And in the meantime, did you get responses from the other small towns that you wrote to?"

"I did," Dawn confirmed. "All three."

"Excellent," Mr. Bern beamed. "Because I really liked the presentation you gave of that movie town. You're ideas about the new commercialism and socio-economic climate changes is a very advanced study that I would like you to see through. I like enough of what I've heard so far that I want you to include it however you can manage. In fact, what I would be willing to do in your case is allow it to serve as your major recognized city, even though it doesn't actually fill all of the project specifications, if you are unable to get another major city to reply. You can substitute one of the smaller towns in and then that way you won't end up falling behind the rest of the class."

"Cool," Dawn breathed out. This little impromptu meeting was turning out better than she had thought.

"Of course, you'll be able to use whatever media and other resources you can find to research the town fully," Mr Bern was suddenly smirking at her and Dawn held her breath for a moment. "Such as a very popular documentary making the rounds of the video stores at this moment, I imagine."

"Oh," Dawn realized what he was talking about immediately. "You know about that, huh?"

"I've two daughters in junior high Dawn," Mr. Bern grinned. "Of course I know. But really, your approach was very ingenious. I would give you one hundred percent if that were a gradeable course in school." Dawn giggled at the thought. Turned out Mr. Bern wasn't so bad after all.

They were interrupted by a soft knock at the door and Mr. Bern's head swung around as he called entry into his classroom. Neither were very surprised when it opened and Buffy stuck her head inside.

"Everything okay here?" Buffy asked with as much tact as she could muster. Her face held the look of someone facing a not altogether unexpected firing squad.

"It's good," Mr. Bern nodded at her. "We were just finishing up." He turned back to Dawn, who strove to look attentive and scholarly before her sister. "So Dawn, go ahead and try and get a copy of that documentary. It will help immensely with your research. And there are some good web sites, I'm sure that will help." He spread his hands out in an apologetic gesture. "I'd offer up my own copy, but I doubt my daughters would allow me to remove it from the house." He winked with his left eye, the one on the opposite side of where her sister waited and Dawn had to bite back a giggle. He pushed back from his desk and stood and Dawn did the same, retrieving her bag.

"And I'll go ahead and write to my friend and see if she can help," Dawn agreed, remembering his comments from earlier.

"Excellent," Mr. Bern beamed again and Dawn caught Buffy's look of surprised pleasure as she regarded them both. "I'm really looking forward to hearing you expand on what you presented today Dawn. And let me know if you run into any more problems. Compromise is a part of life."

"Yes sir," Dawn nodded. Mr. Bern walked with her the few steps to the door as her sister backed up to let her out. He bade them both a good evening and then turned away to start retrieving his own belongings in preparation for going home. Dawn politely pulled the door shut behind them.

"So," Buffy began, a familiar knowing glint in her eyes, "we stopping by the video store before we go home?"

"Hey, you heard Mr. Bern," Dawn replied teasingly.

"I heard, I heard," Buffy grumbled as she nudged her sister towards the main office so she could retrieve her own belongings. "Jeeze Dawn, manipulativeness to this level to get your own way?"

"Yeah?" Dawn asked with only a hint of teenaged scorn, but then had to laugh when Buffy pretended to wipe a tear from her eye.

"So proud Dawnie, really!"


	2. The Letter

**Title: Accidental Pen Pals**

Chapter Title: The Letter

Author: Restive Nature

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to BtVS or Dark Angel. They belong respectively to Whedon & Mutant Enemy and to Cameron/ Eglee. No infringement is intended and this fiction is for private enjoyment only.

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Crossover

Type: Friendship/ Humor

Pairing: Dawn/ Joshua (as friends)

Summary: All she asked for was a little help on a school project... but this IS Dawn we're talking about here.

Spoilers/ Time line: This is Season 7 for BtVS and Season 2 for Dark Angel. But things have been skewed for BtVS so that the show fits into the Dark Angel format of Post-Pulse.

Feedback: Always welcome!

Distribution: Ask first please.

A/N: This is a response to the Pen Pals Challenge. For challenge details, please see the first chapter.

Accidental Pen Pals

Chapter Two

The Letter

The transhuman known all his life as Joshua, a man, no one quite knew what dog, mix, sighed with a kind of pleasure as he sank into the dusty sofa in the living room of the house that had at some point in the past, belonged to his father.

Not that Sandeman was really his father, not in the biological sense. And Joshua understood that. Sandeman was his father as in the one responsible for combining his genetic make-up that resulted in the product now reclining with an old, tattered copy of a Tolkien novel in his overly large hands. But Sandeman had invited Joshua to call him father if he was comfortable with that and so Joshua had. And not long after him, Isaac, his younger prototype had become brother and followed after Joshua in calling Sandeman father.

But then the others had come and Father had been forced to flee and it was just Joshua and Isaac and well, the multitude of other creations that the Army was nervous about, stuck in a very small, when one thought about it, basement. That and the guards that came down occasionally when they drew the short stick in assignments. Or the members of the X series that were being punished. It still amazed Joshua that he and his animalistic brethren were thought of as the punishment, when Manticore did what it did to children. Joshua had many long nights and days to think about this.

And now, opening the book and resisting the urge to sneeze at the lingering dust motes in the air, Joshua pushed those thoughts from his mind. He was out of the basement, as were the others, he was in the upstairs people's world, to a degree and he'd just finished a very satisfying meal of fried chicken that Max had dropped off on her way through on a run for her job. Joshua still didn't quite understand why she called it a run when it was obvious that she was cycling, but he chalked it up to another of those social references that he had no basis for understanding yet. But he would figure it out, one way of another. He was smart like that. Not that enough people gave him credit for that.

He smiled to himself as he remembered Max's parting admonition, the same she gave each time she left this house, to stay inside and stay out of sight. Joshua knew well enough that the upstairs people would yell and scream. They yelled and screamed plenty well back at Manticore and Joshua did not like it one bit.

Pushing the thoughts again from his head, Joshua immersed himself into a tale of foreign places. Well, foreign to this day and age. For Joshua, reading a billboard was tantamount to the same thing. It was foreign to him. But enjoyable all the same.

He had no idea of the time that had passed, except for his internal sense of time, to tell that it was quite a bit later when he heard someone approaching the house. The step didn't sound as light as Max's and if Joshua had been pressed to say, he would have assumed it was a male. From what he was aware of, there were two other people that knew where Joshua was living, that were male in gender and the last was female, and Max's friend. But it could have been Medium Fella, or Logan. But Joshua dismissed those possibilities on his mind, simply for the fact that they would not come on their own. And the person approaching was solitary, alone. And really, Medium Fella and that other one had no reason to come see Joshua. Not like Max, as she had explained that she would stop by often to help with house matters and food and company. All of those were very good reasons.

With all the caution that had been drilled into him over the past few decades, Joshua gently, reverently laid the book on the floor and with a deft maneuver that one would not have expected of him, he rolled off the couch to land in a crouch on the floor. That it was accomplished in total silence was only shocking if one did not know what transgenics and transumans were capable of. Following his instincts, Joshua carefully crawled across the floor, avoiding all the places that made those old squeaky creaks in the boards. He'd had them memorized after the first night in his new home.

He made it to the window closest to the door and from his low vantage point, was able to peek out, before whomever it was had taken the first step up to the main door. Joshua had to swallow the growl that immediately rose up in his throat at seeing the figure dressed all in blue, carrying a large bag with him. He held many pieces of paper in his hand, though not attached to a clipboard, like the scientists of the guards sometimes had. They were smaller than regular sheets of paper and the male in the blue uniform was looking through them as he continued to climb the steps. For just a moment, he paused and while Joshua watched from his perch inside, the male glanced up at the door, then back to the papers in his hands and then plucked one out.

By this time, Joshua was able to relax slightly. There was no military bearing in this upstairs person like he had learned to recognize among those that visited the basement. Something was tugging at his memory and a long ago time played in his mind's eye as he continued to watch the blue clothed man's behavior. He was bending over now at the door. And then the word that Joshua was searching for popped into his head. Post Man. The memory of looking at picture books from the perch of Father's lap as they read together was very clear to him. He frowned slightly, remembering that there was another word to do with it, but it didn't seem to overwhelm his need to know drive. This blue clothed man was bringing post. He was delivering. He was like Max, Little Fella. And then, thinking on that as he watched the Post Man pushing one of the rectangle of paper through a slot in the door, the rest of the blanks quickly filled itself in.

The Post Man brought or delivered the mail. Mail was letters. Letters were written on paper from friends. Friends write letters when they are far away from each other. Joshua grinned in expectation. He wondered how such a wonderful surprise had come his way. Maybe Max had asked the Post Man to bring Joshua a letter as a surprise. Maybe they worked together. Because Little Fella couldn't bring it herself. She delivered packages. Big boxes that didn't fit into the rectangular slots.

Joshua watched as the Post Man straightened up and tilted his hat back just a little before spinning around to head back down the steps, his task now obviously complete.

"Thank you," Joshua called out in a small huff of breath. The Post Man didn't seem to hear though. But at least Joshua knew that he had tried. Manners were important. Father had said so. Waiting until the Post Man had walked far enough away not to notice, Joshua carefully pulled back fro the window. He knew how to keep from being noticed a lot of the time. He moved around the slight partition that separated the main door from the living room. There on the floor, was the bright, white long rectangle that the Post Man had delivered.

Joshua scurried on hands and knees to it, leaning down to sniff. He was thoughtful as he took in the scents. Many hands had touched the paper, none of them familiar to him. There were other scents present as well. The scent of gun oil, but not quite. More like the lubricant that Max had used on the door hinges. Lubricant for machines. Maybe the envelope had been in a machine of some kind. There was the familiar scent of sawdust. Like the soldiers put down on the basement floors to absorb messes. Sometimes Joshua had had to find it and put it down. He had learned earlier that it was easier than just picking up the messes.

There was also the scent of horse about the paper. And a freshness, something open and airy and wild. Joshua, not recognizing the last scent, decided that he liked it regardless. It smelled young and old at the same time and for some reason, it made him feel happy inside. But he was unsure as to why the paper would smell like horse.

Settling back on his haunches, Joshua lifted up the paper and brought it to his mouth. His tongue darted out, testing a corner of the paper where the horse scent was most prevalent. It was familiar in it's way as well, since obviously there wasn't a horse suddenly deposited in the house. The taste was there, definitely familiar, under a square patch of bright paper, though it didn't exactly feel like paper. It was more slick and Joshua took another small lick, gagging slightly on the thick taste that coated his tongue as another memory sprang to mind.

Glue. He was tasting glue. Again. And just like the first time, he did not like it. No Sam I Am, he did not. Joshua grinned as he batted at his tongue with his free fingers. The taste lingered, even with his own salt coating his tongue and Joshua snorted. He pulled the paper away from his face and looked it over. There was writing on one side, in hand writing, which Joshua knew was from a person and not a machine. He read it carefully, trying to remember what Father had said beyond what letters were. In the upper left corner there was numbers and words, but not many that Joshua was familiar with. What was a Revello? And a CA? Dr. was the abbreviation for doctor. Sunnydale was strange, but then, when Joshua looked at the writing in the middle of the paper, he remembered. Addresses. That was how the Post Man knew where to take the letters. You put your friends name and the place where they lived.

Joshua huffed out happily as he realized that someone had written his address. Seattle, WA. And then he remember, CA was California. That was geography. Joshua knew this. He was happy that finally, all of the things he learned could now be used. Even if he couldn't go out into the upstairs world like the others, he still knew how to use the things he had learned. That made him happy and sad at the same time. Looking over the words carefully, Joshua committed his address to heart. It was the exact same as the one in the telephone book that had led him here to begin with. But there, atop those words, was a name.

J. Sandeman.

Sandeman was Father. But the J? And then Joshua laughed a little, the sound coming out closer to the a woof than a laugh, but he was used to that. Little woofs were okay, because of his whack cocktail. Big woofs were bad because they reminded the guards that you were there. They didn't like you there.

"J is for Joshua," the big transhuman decided happily and then hugged the letter to himself. Someone had orchestrated sending a letter to him and it was turning out to be as enjoyable an experience that he ever might have thought of as a small child back at Manticore, with his Father there to make sense of things. He was excited, wondering what the letter could be. Who could have written it? There was only one sense of fear, minorly coursing through him and that was the wonder if he had forgotten Father's scent. Because it didn't seem to be there on the paper.

That worry quickly disappeared though. Joshua remembered when Father dictated words to him. He would say the word, sometimes how to spell it and Joshua would write it out on the paper with the pencil Father gave him. Dictation was when someone else wrote things that someone was saying. Like a secretary. Maybe Father had used a secretary to dictate a letter? Shrugging, figuring he would find out soon enough, Joshua turned the paper, no, the envelope over. The envelope was the folded paper that held the letter. And once he had done so, he found the corner that was not glued down.

He carefully slid one fingernail under the corner slit and tugged. The paper ripped and Joshua's eyes widened and he quickly glanced around, before reminding himself that he was alone here. No guards to hear a wrong noise. He huffed out a louder laugh, real, not a bark this time and carefully finished ripping the envelope. It made a very satisfying noise. And just as he'd been taught, there was more paper inside. The fresh wild scent that had been on the envelope was in full force now and Joshua brought it up to his face to inhale once more.

He slipped the letter from the envelope, unfolding it carefully. You weren't supposed to rip letters. That was rude, Joshua was sure. He was so very excited at the prospect of a letter from Father. But as he opened the folded sheet, he was doomed to a big sense of disappointment.

He read the letter and stared at it for a moment and then read it again. He re-read it a third time and began to smile. Once he had, he very carefully folded the paper back up and with only minute struggle, placed it back in the envelope. Glancing at the window to make sure no one was looking in, he stood from his hunched position and carried the letter over to the mantle. That was a place for special things. He placed the letter in the center of the mantle top and then retreated back to the couch to lay back down. His hand groped for the book he'd laid down before, his eyes stuck on the envelope. Finally, he decided that he would ask Max about it when Little Fella came back. He knew he wouldn't have too long to wait.

Max had finished up her long shift of runs for Jam Pony hell at a decent hour. But she had held off returning to base for as long as possible, knowing very well that Normal, her boss would use an early return to try and weasel another delivery out of her that would have put her into overtime. If such a thing even existed for the lowly peons of the delivery business. And she was having none of that. She didn't mind working fair and square for the squat wages that Normal handed out with a healthy dose of sarcasm and insults, but she put her foot down on overtime for the jerk.

So, stalling with a crappy cup of joe at a little kiosk a few blocks away, she pondered on the list of things that had been occupying her mind for the last week. Joshua, her large stalwart, canine- man mixed transhuman friend had showed up in Seattle, looking for the creator of them all. And now he was camping out in Sandeman's old house. They'd spent plenty of her free time cleaning up and hooking up what they could for power. But there were still some supplies that Max needed to have.

Such as a few parts to fix up the old refrigerator that hadn't come on line when Max had jacked the juice to run the other parts of the house. And if she were able to score another hot water heater, she knew her gigantic friend would probably appreciate it. He did seem to cotton onto the idea of heating water on the stove for cleaning with. And she knew of a place that sold this unscented soap for hunters to use when they were out, that masked their natural body odors. She figured Joshua would probably like that better than the other soaps available, since his nose was so sensitive.

So with those thoughts ordered, Max wondered at what to bring him for dinner and how she could supply him with some stuff in case something happened and she couldn't be there one day or night. Probably some canned goods and a decent can opener would go a long way. But still, a hot meal was a luxury that was still new to Josh and she wanted to indulge that as much as she could for as long as she was able. She thought through the things available in this town that Joshua hadn't tried yet, as long a list as that was. And then tried to decide what would appeal to him. Maybe a couple combo platters from the Mexican place in his neighborhood would do him for the night. But that would mean brining breakfast in the morning, again. Max didn't mind though. Being around Joshua was... restful, for the most part.

Finally decided, she drained the last, barely tolerable swallow of lukewarm coffee, checked her watch and then headed off to finish out her day and retrieve her belongings from her locker.

It was only a few hours after that, that Max climbed off her motorcycle, having showered, changed out of her work clothes and retrieved dinner to bring to Joshua. Once off the motorcycle, she unstrapped the bags, four in total, from the back of the seat. The smell that had been trailing her had been making her mouth water and she was looking forward to eating. Which reminded her that perhaps Joshua, as well as Cindy and herself might enjoy it if a microwave or two happened to fall off the back of a truck. Luckily the Mexican place hadn't been too far and the food wouldn't have lost much heat in their Styrofoam packs.

With the keys to her baby tucked safely in her pocket, Max caught up the handles of the bags and headed up the walk. She noted the curtain twitch as it did every time she approached the house, recognizing it as Joshua's signal that he knew someone was coming and was comfortable with said person's entry. And yet, she always kept her pace measured and steady, allowing him to get back to whatever he was doing before she got there. Even though she had made no mention of it, she appreciated and applauded his caution. It was a totally different matter for him than it was for her. For so many reasons. Feeling a lightness that hadn't been there for a while, and not wanting to loose it, Max shoved away any and all bad thoughts and knocked a few times on the door before reaching to turn the handle. She grinned when she found that it was still locked from her exit this morning. Or at least that was what she assumed had happened.

She heard Joshua quickly enough on the other side. The locks turned in their tumblers and the door swung inwards and Max darted in as soon as she was able. She was glad to see he big guy was completely behind the door. No sight of him for a passer-by on the street.

"Hey Big Guy," she greeted and then held up the bags. "Brought dinner. Mexican sound good to you?"

His face blanched just a little bit, but then he leaned over slightly to sniff at the bags and his countenance brightened again. "Refried beans," he announced. Max grinned.

"Had them before?" she asked as she moved to the dining room. Joshua followed after her.

"Manticore had cans, big cans," Joshua explained in his stilted way of speaking that Max was quickly becoming accustomed to. "Bad numbers, give to accidents."

Max frowned as she puzzled that out and then realizes what he was referring to. "They gave the nomlies the outdated cans of refried between?" Joshua's nod was all she needed for confirmation. "Well, hopefully this will taste a lot better than that." She settled the bags on the table and glanced over to see that Joshua had veered off and moved into the living room. He was grabbing something from the mantle and Max's curiosity was piqued. He returned to the table and settled into his usual chair. Max pushed over several of the combo boxes to him, knowing that he knew the routine by now. Joshua settled an envelope on the table and Max was surprised to see that it looked recent. She seated herself and opened the closest box to herself, trying to decide if she wanted to try the burrito or the taco first.

"What's that?" she asked gently, not looking directly at her friend.

"Post Man come today," Joshua rushed to say and Max grinned wryly, as he followed that up by, "no running or screaming. Didn't see Joshua. Pushed letter through the mail slot in the door. Made sure Post Man left. He was whistling."

"So you got some junk mail, huh?" Max chuckled, relieved that Joshua had kept his head with a stranger stopping by and very grateful that it was a city worker that had no interest in what lay beyond the front door of the houses he frequented.

"Not junk," Joshua huffed. "Special letter. To J. Sandeman."

That got Max's attention. Her fork faltered in midair and she felt a moment's trepidation before she banished the strange hope struggling in her chest that maybe they could finally, finally get some answers. "It was addressed to...?"

"To J. Sandeman," Joshua repeated. Then he shook his head sadly. "Thought it was from Father, but it wasn't."

"Oh," was all Max was able to say, as she cast her eyes down to her food once more. She shoved the fork into her mouth for lack of anything better to do. As disappointed as she was, Joshua had to be a hundred times more so, having way more memories and times of interaction with the man he considered his father.

"From Dawn Summers," Joshua went on to announce then. "To Jeanine Sandeman. They were friends in school, in Sunnydale."

Max realized then that it was probably delivered to the wrong house. That was confirmed by Joshua's continued ramble as he poked at his food.

"She lost Jeanine's address so her friend looked it up on her computer," Joshua related, all without having to look at the letter again. Max wondered how many times he had read it. There was a kind of choked noise and Max glanced up and grinned at her sheepishly smiling friend. "Private letter not for Joshua."

"That's okay big Fella," Max allowed immediately. "That kind of thing happens. I'm sure this Dawn girl would understand."

"Feel bad," Joshua sighed and then took a bite of the refried beans. His face brightened and he took another large forkful.

"For reading the letter?" Max questioned gently, but Joshua shook his head.

"Dawn needs help," Joshua clarified. "From Jeanine."

"Is it serious?" Max asked at once, frowning around her mouthful of rice. "Maybe I should read this letter."

Joshua's hand immediately hovered over the envelope and Max could see that he was uncomfortable with that idea. She could see why, if he thought it was bad manners for him to read the letter unknowingly, it would be a worse offense to let Max read it. And she had already figured out that Joshua was big on manners.

"That's okay," she grinned up at him. "It's private, right?" She knew for sure as he sagged with relief.

"Private," he confirmed, "but Dawn needs things."

"Can you tell me what she needs? Did she say?" Max asked, wondering why it was so important to Joshua. But then, this was something different for him, a new experience for sure. Something to break up the monotony of the days.

"Dawn doing a class project," Joshua explained slowly, between suddenly ravenous bites of the food. "Needs tourist things from different cities in Washington. Wrote to Seattle, but Seattle didn't answer."

At once, Max got the idea of what was happening. She grimaced. "Yeah, Seattle tourism isn't really big on the City Council's agenda's these days." She thought it over for a few minutes, watching Joshua methodically try everything his dinner tray contained, one at a time until he had eaten his way through the food. She nudged another at him and he happily complied in eating his fill.

"You know, you should probably write back to this kid and tell her she had the wrong address," Max decided, lighting up as soon as Joshua's head came up, the smile gracing his face, large and in charge. "And I could probably round up some Seattle geared stuff when I'm out and about. Kind of a thank you to the kid for brightening up your day, huh?"

"Big thank you!" Joshua emphasized. Max nodded along.

"Okay, a big thank you," she amended, thinking what kind of things she could grab that would appease a teacher's assignment. She might need to read that letter after all. "Did she say anything specifically about what she needed for the project?"

"Some ideas," Joshua nodded and started listing things off from memory. "And also, Jeanine's impression about the major changes between pre pulse and post pulse Seattle." He said the last slowly, obviously reciting that from memory of the letter written. A small smirk graced Max's lips. That wasn't something that either of them could provide. But she knew the perfect person for that. Now she had the perfect excuse to drop in on him.

This was the sort of thing that was right up Logan Cale's alley.


	3. The Kindness Of Strangers

**Title: Accidental Pen Pals**

Chapter Title: The Kindness Of Strangers

Author: Restive Nature

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to BtVS or Dark Angel. They belong respectively to Whedon & Mutant Enemy and to Cameron/ Eglee. No infringement is intended and this fiction is for private enjoyment only.

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Crossover

Type: Friendship/ Humor

Pairing: Dawn/ Joshua (as friends)

Summary: All she asked for was a little help on a school project... but this IS Dawn we're talking about here.

Spoilers/ Time line: This is Season 7 for BtVS and Season 2 for Dark Angel. But things have been skewed for BtVS so that the show fits into the Dark Angel format of Post-Pulse.

Feedback: Always welcome!

Distribution: Ask first please.

A/N: This is a response to the Pen Pals Challenge. For challenge details, please see the first chapter.

Accidental Pen Pals

Chapter Three

The Kindness Of Strangers

"Do you really think this is a good idea?" Logan Cale asked of Max as he carefully adjusted his glasses. He wasn't trying to sound accusatory, just honestly wondered what her true opinion of the situation was. Max, his longed for erstwhile girlfriend, touchable no longer, stood in the doorway of his inner sanctum, his Eyes Only office, leaning against the door jamb.

Her hair was as straight as usual, a preference that had come about since she had little time to do more than comb it through and get going for the day. Her only nod to vanity was to leave it as long as it was, as she seemed to like the swish of it against her back.

"What can it hurt?" she asked, shrugging one shoulder. "Look," she sighed, a little impatient sounding, "Joshua was cooped up all his life in Manticore and now, by necessity, we have to do the same thing."

"I wasn't arguing that point, Max," Logan patiently pointed out. "I-!"

"Writing a letter to a kid in another town one time to explain the situation is not going to hurt anybody," Max interrupted. "I mean, you should have seen him Logan. He was so excited at the thought of being able to help someone out."

Logan cleared his throat, placing the spectacles back upon their perch on his face. "My point exactly. He's getting excited over something that will be over the moment you take that letter to the post office."

Max sighed, but said nothing further and Logan knew that she was conceding the point.

"It's a really nice thought," Logan pointed out kindly. "And maybe if Joshua were a little more, well, I mean, you know, have you thought of getting him a pen pal?"

Max quirked a smile and moved forward to pick up the box that Logan had packed for her. It was mostly filled with papers, but there were little knick knacks here and there. "This is gonna cost a fortune to mail," she sighed, but then cheered again. "At least Cindy and Alec kicked in with me on it. Anything to keep the big guy happy, right?"

"Of course," Logan replied smoothly, though the tension that stiffened his facial features whenever the male transgenic's name was mentioned was apparent to anyone that looked at him. "Are you're sure you'll have enough?" She was nodding before he had even finished the question. "Or I could give you a ride to the post office. Surely you don't want to try and balance that on your bike?"

"Which is why I brought my backpack instead of my messenger bag," Max smirked, seeing right through his ruse. "And it's not like I don't handle stuff like this all the time at work." Logan sighed, sinking in his seat as he watched her, resigned to his addition in this mini adventure at an end. Max threw him another appreciative smile as she closed up the box and put it into the aforementioned backpack. "See ya," he heard her whisper and when he glanced up she was gone.

Joshua stared down at the sheet of paper in his hand. On the table before him there were several false starts. He had worried a little that he would be imparting bad news to someone. That was never easy, and he knew that Father had a special way with words that Joshua could never hope to emulate. But he had found that with a little thought, he had been able to convey what he wanted to say, by saying it simply. He stilled as a familiar squeaking noise caught his attention from outside. He cocked his head at an angle to appreciate exactly which direction it was coming from and then smiled. Max was here.

He stayed put at the table he was using, as he wouldn't be visible from the front door. As he expected and Max had gotten used to doing, she breezed right in. Once she checked in the kitchen and then on to the living room where he was situated, Joshua took in her empty hands and frowned. He had been sure that Max said that she would come by to add the letter to the package that they were sending to Dawn Summers. She greeted him happily enough even as she slung her backpack off of her shoulders and then onto the table before her.

"You've been busy, I see," she teased gently, brushing a few of the crumpled papers out of her way.

"Writing letter," he replied stiffly and watched as she unbuckled the top of her backpack and reached in. She withdrew a long, somewhat thin box and set it on the table before him.

"I thought you might want to see what we found before I mailed it," she explained, pushing the box over to him. Joshua's pensive frown was instantly replaced with a beaming smile as he set the letter he'd decided on aside and reached for the box. "Careful," Max warned, one hand darting out to keep him from just upending the box. "There's a breakable in there. We'll have to wrap it in something." Joshua nodded and very carefully let the contents slide out, ready to catch the breakable. With renewed pleasure, he looked over the bright and attractive brochures for different attractions around Seattle. There was information about the structure of the City Hall and the business that typically took place there. Another listed all the amazing things about the space needle and how the city had worked to restore some of the splendor found before the Pulse. There was a brochure about the history of Seattle's beginnings and some famous people that came from the area. Max or Logan had included a small bag of coffee grounds and a snow globe of the waterfront skyline. Joshua shook it gently, never having seen one before. His eyes widened as a white swirling mass came up like a vortex before falling gently through the liquid to settle at the bottom again.

"Snow globe," Max nodded. "Cheap little chotchke that tourists love to take home with them as a memory of the place they visited."

"Dawn will like," Joshua announced. At least he hoped she would. Because he certainly liked it. He was very startled when he realized that Max, grinning like a Cheshire cat, had moved around the table and produced another one from her pocket. This one was of the Space Needle. She placed it in his hand, wrapping his fingers around the slight form and making him shake it up. "For me?" he asked with awe.

"Yup," Max nodded. "Didn't seem fair not to get you a little something too." Joshua grinned and shook it up again, before he rose from his seat to place the snow globe on the mantle. "Is this the letter you wrote."

Joshua grunted his assent and then glanced at where Max was running the paper through her fingers. "You can read," he told her and he hoped he would. Father had told him about second opinions. When you were unsure about something, you asked someone else what they thought and you could take their advice or not. Max grinned at him and quickly skimmed through his letter while Joshua found the best place on the mantle for his newest acquisition. He tapped it gently once it was in place as the last of the artificial snow inside settled. This was a special gift because the space needle was Max's favorite place. She had already told him. Maybe one day...

"This is a really good letter," Max complimented, setting it back on the table. "Maybe all those books you like to read have rubbed off." Joshua blushed. He could never have a way with words like those book writers had. They spoke important words on their pages.

"Simple," Joshua grunted. "Father always said 'keep it simple'."

Max nodded. "Simple is best when you can. Well, is that all then? We'll get this packaged up and I'll have plenty of time to get it to the post office and sent out and then back to work before Normal decides to can my ass, again."

"Oh, cushion!" Joshua leap from memory to conclusion startled Max, but she knew enough to wait for him to explain. "To put around breakable."

"They have stuff for that at the post office," Max grinned as she realized what he was after. But Joshua shook his head.

"Don't want it to break before post office," he declared. "Wait here," he instructed and moved into the other room that was obviously a bedroom, judging by the sagging, dilapidated mattress and frame. Joshua rummaged through the top drawer of belongings that he had found and had taken the time to clean, before he realized that it was just fabric and nothing special. He returned to the living room and held out the square of fabric to Max. She took it from him with a smile.

"Good idea," she nodded and carefully wrapped the globe in the handkerchief and tying a simple square knot to keep it secure. She placed it back in the box and Joshua hurried to retrieve the envelope that he'd already addressed to Dawn Summers of Sunnydale. Max let him fold up the letter and lick it shut. Afterwards, he pawed at his tongue, trying to remove the sticky, unpleasant taste of the glue from his tongue. Max pressed a kiss against his temple and with a chuckle and an assurance that she'd be back with dinner later, was gone.

"Dawn!" Buffy called over her shoulder as she entered the house ahead of her sister. Dawn was struggling to remove the mountain of books she had for her weekend homework from Xander's car. Her best friend, at least of the male variety had already climbed out of the driver's seat and had plucked the duffel bag that Dawn had lugged out of the school building at the end of the day. He was waiting as Dawn piled the books higher than either thought possible and began to navigate her way up the walk while Xander walked beside her.

"What?" her sister demanded almost petulantly. "Kinda busy here."

"Just thought I'd let you know, you've got mail," Buffy smiled as she stepped aside to let her sister and Xander through. It was unusual that Xander was able to give them a ride home after school from work, but since it was Friday and they hadn't actually gotten out of there until after four, as Buffy had been organizing some files and meeting with a few students after school was actually finished

Xander had decided that the crew working on both the library and science buildings could knock off early and was therefore available for drivage.

"Probably just some more 'occupant' stuff," Dawn huffed, knowing full well the advantage Buffy took to get her excited about things that were nothing to get excited about. Older sister purvue and all that.

"Nuh uh," Buffy protested as she flipped through the rest of the mail. Typical bills, as usual. Thank goodness pay day was coming up and while it might not be much, it was better than nothing. It helped too that social services had contacted Hank the previous year and even if he didn't remember, at least his slututary did and she dutifully had a check ready for him to sign each month. "Huh."

"Huh what Buff?" Xander asked as he stepped in behind Dawn and Buffy automatically closed the door behind them. "Good huh or bad?"

"Good I guess," she mumbled as she read the card. Dawn had finally dislodged her load on the dining room table and had returned to where Buffy was standing to retrieve, more like yank the card out of Buffy's hand. Buffy kept quiet since technically, it was for Dawn.

"Oh cool," Dawn enthused as her eyes scanned what was typed out and then glanced up to explain to Xander. "It says I have a package waiting at the post office." She flipped the card over and grew even more excited. "It's from Seattle. I bet it's from Jeanine!"

"Probably," Buffy nodded. She hadn't a chance to note where the package was listed from.

"Can we go get it?" Dawn immediately implored of Xander. "It says they're open until five today."

"Sure thing Dawnster," Xander smiled his easy smile, happy to be of service and to keep Dawn on as even a keel as they could. For the life of him, he did not remember teen hood as a time of this much emotional roller coaster, even with two best friends in female form and a bitch queen for a girlfriend. But then, maybe he was starting to show his age. He smirked as Buffy nodded. She was removing her messenger bag and mumbling something about checking on what they could have for supper. She had moved to check their answering machine and threw a 'drive safe' reminder that Xander had not really needed, over her shoulder as the duo exited the door they'd just entered.

It didn't take Dawn as long as she might have thought to retrieve her package. She had to show her school id to get the package, but it was like a mini adventure to her, in the mundane world anyway. She'd never picked up a package herself before and was slightly giddy with the adultness novelty of it. Xander had convinced her to wait until she was home to open it, by the simple expediency of threatening to make her clean up any packing material that spilled out, by hand. Dawn had capitulated immediately. General Cleaning Squad Buffy was already enough of a headache.

As Dawn barreled out of the car and into the house with Xander trailing behind, they were both greeted enthusiastically by Willow. Her stomach had healed up nicely after her previous encounter with demon Gnarl, the flesh eater. And just in the last few days, she had been talking about returning to school as well and had embraced helping Dawn with her school work as whole heartedly as the old Willow had once done.

"This is so awesome," Dawn enthused for about the hundredth time. Buffy was already prepared with a small paring knife to cut through the packaging tape. "I mean, I've gotten packages before, but Mom always picked them up and had them waiting for me."

"Ah yes, the all important ritual of standing in line at a government office, waiting for something already belonging to you to be handed to you with the trade of the imperious yellow card," Willow teased with just a small trace of impertinence. "It's a rite of passage Dawnie."

Buffy chuckled behind her hand as Dawn merrily continued severing the tape. "Laugh at me all you want Willow," she announced and then her eyebrows furrowed, "except, don't. This is exciting for me. I was worried I would never get an answer. I have a report to do, you know."

"We know Dawn," Buffy assured her. "I'm just glad your teacher was so understanding about it."

"He's been great, hasn't he?" Dawn nodded. There was a little silence as Dawn finally managed to open the box and carefully allowed the contents to spill out onto the table. With a delighted squeal, she sifted through the items and held up the curios one by one. "Look, coffee!" She held it to her nose and inhaled the bitter scent. "I can't tell if it smells good or not. How do you judge good coffee?"

"I think Dawnie, if it's from Seattle, it's automatically good," Xander smiled as he took it from her and gave it an experimental sniff himself. He rolled his eyes slowly and then shook his head. "Seeing as how we're not getting a contact high, I would suppose it's middle of the road."

Buffy shook her head at her friend's silliness. "What else is there Dawn?"

Dawn held up in turn a t-shirt with a post pulse Seattle neo-rock band that was just losing popularity with it's long time goth crowd as it entered mainstream media about the time that Dawn got interested in music that didn't include nursery rhymes. There was also a snow globe of the Seattle skyline as seen from Puget sound and plenty of papers and brochures. "This is excellent. Just what I needed for my report!"

"Hey," Willow drew their attention back to the box, "looks like you got a letter here Dawnie." She pointed out the envelope that had been taped to the front, with her address prominently displayed. She deftly sliced it loose and then held it out to the teenager. Dawn abandoned her new little toys to rip into it.

"Probably Jeanine," she reiterated. But as she opened the single sheet that had been folded in thirds, her face went from excited to puzzled, to sad and then to happy again. "Wow, listen to this. _Dear Dawn Summers, I am sorry to tell you that the letter you sent was unable to reach your friend Jeanine. She no longer lives at this address and I am not sure that she ever did. I apologize for reading the letter that you sent but when I received it, I thought it was meant for me. My name is Joshua. After I mistakenly read your letter, I felt bad that you would receive no answer from your friend. When I told my friend about the letter, we decided that we could help you with your school project. My father always told me that leaning is important and that every day you learn something is a day that is not wasted. Perhaps I will someday learn about your home, Sunnydale. It sounds like a lovely place, just by the name. I hope the information that my friends gathered for you will be helpful. Sincerely, Joshua S._"

Dawn glanced up from where she was reading the letter and met the fondly amused glances. "That's so cool. I mean, total stranger, helping me out like that." The page waved dangerously in her suddenly excited hands. "I have to write back! Can I Buffy? I have to at least say thank you. That was so nice of him, of Joshua and his friends to do this for me."

"I was just going to suggest it," Buffy chuckled, a little late as Dawn was already dashing to the credenza to find the letter writing supplies that their mother had always kept there and that Buffy had never had the heart to change. "Thank you letter and then try and get some homework out of the way!" she instructed as Dawn pushed the previous neat stack of books out of her way. "Supper will be in an hour."

"Uh huh," was her sister's murmured, distracted reply and the chuckling, amused adults made their way to the living room to leave the teen to her newfound appreciation of a fast growing lost art of old world politeness.


	4. Taking Turns

**Title: Accidental Pen Pals**

Chapter Title: Taking Turns

Author: Restive Nature

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to BtVS or Dark Angel. They belong respectively to Whedon & Mutant Enemy and to Cameron/ Eglee. No infringement is intended and this fiction is for private enjoyment only.

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Crossover

Type: Friendship/ Humor

Pairing: Dawn/ Joshua (as friends)

Summary: All she asked for was a little help on a school project... but this IS Dawn we're talking about here.

Spoilers/ Time line: This is Season 7 for BtVS and Season 2 for Dark Angel. But things have been skewed for BtVS so that the show fits into the Dark Angel format of Post-Pulse.

Feedback: Always welcome!

Distribution: Ask first please.

A/N: This is a response to the Pen Pals Challenge. For challenge details, please see the first chapter.

Accidental Pen Pals

Chapter Four

Taking Turns

There was that noise again.

Joshua's head came up, his nose twitching as scents pervaded his head. He knew that sound, that scent, all of it coming together quickly as a grin curved his canine cast mouth. The post man had come around again.

He quickly positioned himself along the hallway wall leading to the front door. And as expected the little slot in the door opened enough for an envelope to be pushed through. With caution that living in a secret government installation of what most sane people would consider a monster making factory; as well as Max's as recent as this morning admonishment to stay out of sight, kept Joshua planted in spot. He waited until the scent, the noise of the post man and all other sounds faded out to background filter again before he approached the letter. It was bright and almost shiny white amongst the dust filled carpet. Joshua leaned over to pick it up and noted a new scent.

He sniffed thoughtfully as he cradled the letter in his large hand, careful and mindful of his nails to not tear the paper. The scent tantalized him and he cast his mind to see if he could recall it. But it was not one that he knew, though it did put him in mind of Cindy, Max's friend. Joshua smiled then as a little sneeze began to wiggle it's way through his nose. He let it out and laughed out loud. This was perfume. Cindy wore nice perfume that smelled like her base scent a little. Some people wore nasty perfume that smelled like skunks. Joshua didn't like skunks.

Still cradling the letter, he moved into the living room and took a seat on the sofa, barely noticing as the cushions sank and gave under his heavy frame. Little dust puffs, much less than before, rose up into the air, but Joshua ignored them. He turned the envelope over and his eyes searched out the addressee. Just because he had received a letter before, did not mean he had received another. But this time, instead of J. Sandeman listed on the front, it was his name. Joshua Sandeman. Joshua felt a little thrill. Yes, Sandeman was his father and he was Dr. Sandeman, having long ago explained first names, middle names and surnames to Joshua and his younger brother. But to be ascribed his father's name as his own, Joshua understood it to mean that there was acceptance that he was Sandeman's family. Sandeman's' son.

With pleasure, Joshua looked to the top left corner, recognizing instantly the return address. There it was, D. Summers, of Sunnydale California. With a happy little woof, Joshua instantly turned the letter back over to carefully unseal the glued shut flap. There were a few unintentional tears but Joshua was relieved that the actual letter itself remained unharmed. He pulled it open and was startled as what he thought to be a single sheet separated in his hand to become two pages. Setting the envelope aside to save, simply because he had long ago learned that every salvageable thing had another use somehow at some time, he settled back in the sofa to read.

_Dear Joshua,_

_I wanted to write to express my thanks to you for everything you've done. And your friends as well. As you must have realized, I had a very important project at school and because I had not received an answer, I was falling behind on the project. My teacher was very understanding and helpful about that, but with this package that you've sent, I will be able to complete it on time. _

_I was very excited when I got home from school today and my sister told me that I had a package. I've gotten packages before, but my mom always picked them up and gave them to me. Today I actually had to go myself and pick it up. It was a great way to start my weekend!_

_I really love the snow globe that you included. It's so pretty! I didn't realize that you could see so much from Puget Sound. I think I would like to visit Seattle some day. I've only been as far as Los Angeles, where I used to live when I was little and we flew to Chicago once to visit my mom's family before the pulse. But I was just a baby and obviously don't remember that. _

_Sometimes I find it hard to believe that there used to be days when you could just hop on a flight and go wherever you wanted. Have you ever traveled? Do you like traveling? I suppose it's impertinent of me to ask, like my friend Willow is telling me right now, but you've been so nice about the whole situation, and your friends of course. _

_I guess I can't help but be excited. I admit I was a little disappointed that you weren't Jeanine. But we haven't seen each other since early on in junior high when she moved to Seattle. And I didn't have her address anymore, so my friend Willow, who is a genius with computers, looked up the addresses online. I'm sorry that I addressed the letter to you like I did, but you didn't include your last name, but I guess you'll figure it out. _

_Maybe I can let you know how my presentation goes. I am doing the smaller towns and cities first and working my way up to Seattle. I think I will wear the shirt that you provided. My friends will be jealous that I have it, since it's still one of our favorite groups. Maybe I can even take pictures. Well, my sister is telling me that our dinner is ready, so I should probably end this letter. Thank you again for everything. It really means a lot to me, especially since we're strangers._

_Sincerely, _

_Dawn Summers_

Joshua was smiling gently as he looked at the date she had written. It was just last week that she had received the package and had written back to him. Immediately. She was very polite, as young as she seemed. She must have a father that taught her well, like Father had done. But then Joshua remembered that not all families were like his. Perhaps her mother had helped. Probably her mother had helped. There was a small pang in Joshua's chest. Perhaps, mother. But he really had none. Not one that counted in any significant way.

Pulling the letter back up, Joshua recalled that Dawn Summers had mentioned her mother. She had gotten Dawn packages before. Joshua wondered idly why she had not this time. Was she too busy to go? Was perhaps Dawn Summers getting old enough to do so herself. Joshua wondered at what Sunnydale might be like that children happily went to government offices. But it was Dawn Summers right, as the citizen receiving the package to go to the post office and claim it. It sounded like a very fine adventure to have, Joshua decided wistfully.

He continued to reread, noting that Dawn Summers had asked several questions and Joshua wondered at how he could tell her these things. His fingers twitched to pick up pen and paper and answer, but Max, Lil Fella's urgent admonitions filled his mind. Pursing his lips, Joshua wondered at what he should do. The chime of the clock that Cindy had found for him and Max had repaired softly sounded and Joshua glanced at it. The little bird that came out on the hour made it's half-hearted appearance and Joshua smiled despite his hesitance. It would not be long now until Max came with the dinner that she had promised. Joshua would content himself to wait until then. Carefully folding the two sheets of colored paper back up, Joshua gently pressed them back into the envelope and carried it over to the mantle to be set next to the first letter he had opened. He straightened them both and then returned to the book he had been reading earlier.

Max was on time that night. She breezed into the house, carrying several bags from which enticing smells tormented Joshua's senses and his stomach. But he knew that it was not polite to grab at the food and so, remembering his earlier idea, he moved over to the mantle to retrieve the letter while Max unpacked the Styrofoam covered meal.

"What'cha got there?" she asked happily, noticing of course, like a good X-5 would.

"Letter from Sunnydale," Joshua told her as he returned to the dining room table. He had used to wait for Max to sit first, as Father had taught him, but Max had told him that friends didn't have to wait when it was a friend dinner. That was what they had. The difference was that at a formal dinner, Joshua would wait until all the ladies had taken their seat, before he did.

Now he took his customary seat while Max pushed his portion to him and then sat where she had left her own. She placed her fork in her meal and then took the envelope that he proffered.

"Dawn Summers wrote back huh?" she grinned and glanced at him. Joshua nodded.

"Thank you letter," he explained as he looked over the contents of his meal and tried to decide what it was and what seemed best to try first. There was very much sauce that the food was swimming in. "Very polite. You can read, if you want. For you too. And Logan." Joshua was very well aware who had helped Max gather the materials that they had sent. Max sent him a grin as she easily extracted the sheets. She held them deftly with one hand while she saw to feeding herself with the other. She finished very quickly with the reading, before setting them well away from the food.

"She seems like a nice kid," Max sighed happily. "It sounds like we made her day."

"Helped her," Joshua grunted in agreement. "Not fail class. Made her happy. Sunny," he barked at a laugh at his own joke and Max smiled along with them, but she nudged the papers straight, looking contemplative for a moment before she returned to her food.

"You know, it would be rude not to answer her questions," Max hummed and Joshua's eyebrows went up. He had been thinking the same thing. Max turned in her seat towards him. "Would you maybe like to write her back? She could be your pen pal, if she wants. It seems like she's kind of interested in hearing more about Seattle."

"Pen pal?" Joshua asked and started to search his mind for the term, but Max's swift explanation forestalled that.

"Those are people who don't actually know one another, but end up writing to one another and forming a slight friendship," she explained easily. "They take turns writing letters and usually they have a hobby or interest in common. In this case, Seattle or traveling. Maybe there are some other things she likes that you could talk about. I mean, obviously, you wouldn't be able to tell her... certain things about yourself, or where you're from, but we could come up with something." She paused, as if to gage Joshua's reaction and he found that he was excited by the idea.

"Talk about books," he offered excitedly and Max chuckled and nodded.

"You could definitely do that," Max agreed with an impertinent grin. "Even if this Dawn girl doesn't read a lot, I bet she has to read some books for school." at Joshua's puzzled glance, she explained further. "High school kids often have to read a book and then write reports about it. Not like medical or science reports, but what they learned from the book. Oh," she hesitated for a moment. "Maybe you could do that. Read books together and then write to each other about what you thought of the books."

"That would be fun," Joshua agreed enthusiastically. He was already itching to write his next letter. "Max mail for me?" he asked hurriedly.

"Sure thing Big Fella," she nodded, extremely pleased that Joshua had found something to help fill his days. "And I bet Logan might have some more books you could borrow. And I can ask Cindy what books she had to read when she was in high school."

"Cindy read a lot?" Joshua asked and Max took a moment to think it over. Her friend wasn't a huge bookworm, but she'd been known to relax with a book, but the... romances she usually chose weren't exactly high school freshman or sophomore, or well, adolescent aged appropriate.

"Not books to write reports on," she finally answered. "But she might have some ideas." Joshua nodded and then dug into his food again with more enthusiasm than he had shown before.

"Write letter after eat," he decided and Max smiled, wondering how much pens and writing paper were going to run her. But in the end, it would be worth it.

"Another letter Dawnie?" Willow teased as soon as Dawn and Buffy came through the door of the house, holding aloft the envelope that was addressed to the teen. She'd seen the return address and realized that Dawn had certainly seemed to make a new friend. Buffy shared a grin with her friend over Dawn's shoulder as the girl squealed, dumped her book bag and made a beeline for the letter.

"Dawn," she warned, having to hide her smile and lower her voice. As expected her sister whirled around, whining, begging face very much in evidence.

"Wha-aat?" Dawn began and Buffy was already shaking her head. "Homework first?"

"Yeah," Buffy nodded. "Then you can read the letter. But don't take too long, 'kay? We've got research to do."

Dawn nodded and tucked the letter into her back pocket of her jeans. She rushed through everything she had to do and before joining her sister and friend to look through the information of Buffy's latest pet project, Cassie Newton, sat curled up on the sofa to enjoy her letter.

_Dear Dawn,_

_I am very happy that our letter and package helped you. It felt very nice to be able to do that for you. My friend Max, who is a girl, not a boy, has said that she thinks it might be a good idea for me to have a pen pal. I do not go out of the house very much because of health reasons. She visits me every day and tells me all about her days. I tell her about the books I read. _

_Do you like to read? Max says that high school students often have to read classic literature to write reports about. I was schooled at home, so I am not familiar with going to school. Do you enjoy it? My favorite book currently is the one I am reading. It belonged to my father and is titled The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne. I think I like it just because it was my father's. _

_I am not able to travel, though I moved to the Seattle area when I was a little boy, with my father and younger brother, whose name is Isaac. Isaac ran away recently, but he is old enough to take care of himself. I think I would like to travel if I could. Maybe I will ask Max and her boyfriend Logan if they have books on traveling. I could do like you and your class is doing and learn about different places and imagine I am there. _

_You wrote about your mother helping you get packages before. She sounds like a very lovely woman. I never met my mother and my father never talked about her. I do not think she wanted to be a mother, so she gave me to him and left. My father and Isaac were my best friends and my father taught me as much as he possibly could. But that is what parents are for, are they not. _

_I did find a book that explained how to write letters when you are writing to businesses, or to someone very important. But since you are not a business and someone I do not know well, I am worried that I might write the wrong thing and upset you. I do not want to do that, so if anything was wrong in this letter, please forgive me. If you would not like to be pen pals, please don't worry. But if you do, I will really enjoy getting letters._

_Hopefully your friend,_

_Joshua._

Dawn lowered the letter, biting at her lip, trying to hold back tears. It was a very nice letter, but it just sounded, so... lonely.

"Everything okay Dawnie?" Buffy asked solicitously and Dawn was surprised that her sister had noticed, as caught up in her reading as she had seemed to be.

"Joshua," she began to explain, holding up the letter. "He sounds so lonely. He's housebound because he's sick. He was hoping I would be his pen pal."

"I don't think that'd be a problem honey," Buffy smiled encouragingly. "Just as long as you keep it, you know Slay-reference free." Dawn nodded eagerly.

"Of course," she agreed with a scoff. Like she was that dense that she'd tell a stranger all the things that went on in their lives. She had plenty to talk of without ever having to refer to their secret alternative lives.

Joshua gave little thought to the days that passed. He had been reading as many of the books that Cindy had suggested might be part of a high school English curriculum. He had also devoured the books that Logan had given Max for Joshua to borrow, about travel. Joshua had learned about England, China, Russia and Italy. Logan even had a special book that was nothing but the food they ate in Italy. Joshua smiled, remembering how many tomatoes they must eat in that country.

He was just putting his book down, to rest his eyes for a moment, when his chirpy little clock chimed the house. Joshua cautiously lifted his head, waiting as he did, for the telltale steps of the postman. He recognized them now. And there they were. Carefully placing a bookmark, a thin strip of paper that held his place, Joshua carefully laid his book on the floor and eagerly waited for the moment that the little envelope would slide through his door and he could retrieve it.

But to his utter delight, Joshua received not one, but two letters. Two! He was so very excited as he scooped them up. Flipping them both over, he glanced between them, noting that they were both from Dawn. He wondered if this meant that she would be his pen pal. But he wondered with a frown, which was he to open first? How did one decide when one received two letters from the same person. Both letters seemed to be the same. His name and address, Dawn's name and address. But then Joshua noticed that there was a difference. Over the stamp, there was red ink, on both of them. Joshua looked it over and there were two different dates printed there.

Wondering what that was about, Joshua moved over to the mantle where his other letters remained. He looked them over and saw that they had that red ink as well. And then Joshua realized that the red ink matched the days that Dawn had written in the top right corner of her letters. Joshua remembered that writing went in that upper corner and the date could be included.

He smiled to think that the post office was nice enough to put the date on the envelope for you. Looking over his two new letters again, he decided to read them in order. Picking the one that was written two days earlier, he settled back into his couch.

_Dear Joshua,_

_I am very sorry to hear that you are unable to get out of the house. It is something I love doing, even if I just have to go to school. So I can only imagine how difficult it must be to be inside all the time. I remember once at my sister's birthday, no one really felt like leaving, since we were all having so much fun. We stayed in and played board games and watched movies for a long time. And since I love writing and receiving letters, I would be very happy to be your pen pal. _

_But please don't think that you have to entertain me by reading books for me. I will be happy to hear about whatever you like. I like reading the Harry Potter series, by J.K. Rowling. There are seven books in the series. Have you read those yet? They are about a boy who finds out he is a wizard and gets to go to magic school. When I was younger, I liked reading about horses. They were my favorite animal for the longest time. I used to have posters all over my room. But then I grew up a bit and started putting up posters of music bands. _

_What kind of music do you like? I really like the band, I think I mentioned that before, of the shirt you included in your package. I was wondering, would you like some pamphlets about Sunnydale for your travel information. My sister, Buffy said that we could send you some things. Or I can send you a few at a time in my letters so that it's spread out more. _

_My mother was a very lovely woman that we, my sister and I and our friends adored. She always had time to sit with us when we needed to talk and drink hot chocolate with us. Unfortunately a few years ago, she found out that she had a brain tumor. She had an operation, but a few months later, she had an aneurysm. That's where a bit of blood swells up in her brain and then it burst. We weren't able to save her. _

_My father isn't around either, but he hasn't been for a long time. He's living and working in Spain. I used to think that I would like to live there. But my sister, who has custody of me, would rather live here. I will have to end this letter here, since my sister, who works as a counselor at my school, needs my help with a project! That's so cool that I get to help her with school work rather than the other way around! _

_I look forward to hearing from you again Joshua._

_Sincerely Dawn._

Joshua smiled sadly. She had lost her mother and her father had left her and her sister. She was more like Joshua than she knew. At least she could go out. He carefully folded the letter and replaced it in the envelope before getting into the other.

But as he read and read, the smile that had been gracing his face faded until there was nothing but tears wanting to fall. He didn't even notice as he sat, holding the letter, that darkness had fallen, that Max was late, that he should have eaten something long ago. He never noticed these things until finally his friend arrived, worried as was her wont, about him. But it was not Joshua that needed the comfort.


	5. Secretive Partial Truths

**Title: Accidental Pen Pals**

Chapter Title: Secretive Partial Truths

Author: Restive Nature

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to BtVS or Dark Angel. They belong respectively to Whedon & Mutant Enemy and to Cameron/ Eglee. No infringement is intended and this fiction is for private enjoyment only.

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Crossover

Type: Friendship/ Humor

Pairing: Dawn/ Joshua (as friends)

Summary: All she asked for was a little help on a school project... but this IS Dawn we're talking about here.

Spoilers/ Time line: This is Season 7 for BtVS and Season 2 for Dark Angel. But things have been skewed for BtVS so that the show fits into the Dark Angel format of Post-Pulse.

Feedback: Always welcome!

Distribution: Ask first please.

A/N: This is a response to the Pen Pals Challenge. For challenge details, please see the first chapter.

Accidental Pen Pals

Chapter Five

Secretive Partial Truths

Joshua sat as the darkening shadows lengthened. He gave no thought to needing a light on. The illumination from the street lamps that worked sporadically up and down the lane were enough. When there wasn't that, whatever moonlight filtered through the curtains would be fine.

He wasn't sure what this was in his chest. It felt... heavy. Not like when Father had left. That had been ache all over his body, mostly his head. This was different. He knew that what he had read had caused the problem. He just didn't know how to identify the choking sensation that rose in his throat, the pain that had his shoulders hunched. The trembling in his knees.

He wondered why the words that Dawn had written had affected him so badly. He didn't know. Would never have known...

"Joshua?"

He heard the slight panic in Max's voice as she entered the house. She was probably startled that he had not turned on the lights. Probably afraid he had left the house to see the upstairs people. But Joshua knew better.

He had heeded Max's warnings. Over and over, he had listened and he had stayed.

She had come into the living room now. "Joshua? What's wrong?" Her voice had softened once she had found him and her fears were wrong.

Joshua barely turned his head as she came to kneel at his feet, her hand moving to smooth his slightly matted hair. "Not feel good," he whispered.

"Uh oh," she murmured as her hand quickly moved to his forehead. But Joshua jerked away slightly.

"Not there," he fretted and lifted one hand to hold, closed in a fist, to his chest. "Here."

"Your heart?" she asked worriedly, setting back on her heels slightly. Joshua nodded slowly and then lifted the second letter from his lap.

"Cassie died," he told her simply. He could see the puzzlement on her face as her eyes dropped down to the papers that had creased and crumpled where his hand gripped it.

"Who's Cassie?" she asked, though her voice was a little faint.

"Read," he instructed simply. With an inquisitive tilt to her head, Max took the proffered letter and moved to turn on the lamp that was closest. Joshua flinched a little under the harsh, sudden glare and Max made an apologetic noise in her throat. She returned to the sofa and took a seat close to him. With one hand rubbing a soothing circle on his back, she quickly skimmed over the letter from Dawn.

_Dear Joshua, _(she read)

_I don't know why I am writing this as a letter to you. I would write in my diary, but I don't keep those anymore, ever since I found out the truth of who I really am. I remember once that a counselor told us that it helped to write things out. Maybe I just need to make some sort of sense of everything that's happened. _

_My sister asked me to help her with a project at school. I was happy to help. I don't get to help her much and she has to do so much. There's a burden on her shoulders that always pierces my heart to think about. I don't know how she does it. She tries so hard to be strong. Strong like Mom. I wish I could be strong for her but the best we can do is lean on each other. But I think we're going to topple over. _

_She wanted me to be friends with a girl she was worried about. Cassie Newton. I knew who she was. When everybody at school thinks you're a freak, you end up knowing really fast who the other freaks are too. Some times we band together. Sometimes we just avoid each other so that the other kids don't make even more fun of us. Cassie was in one of my classes, but I never talked to her. _

_But I used that as an excuse to talk to her. I asked her about the homework in the class and she was so nice. She was funny and beautiful and she cared about her friends. She didn't have a good home life. Her parents are divorced and her dad drinks too much. Buffy was worried that he might hurt her. I've seen what drinking too much can do. Car accidents, parents hurting their children. Xander thinks that I don't know, but even children can figure it out when it happens all the time. _

_Cassie wrote poetry, like I wrote in my diaries. It was real. It was graphic. Some of it was dark, but some of it was beautiful. Growing up beautiful. Hard to watch but worth it in the end. Like a butterfly struggling out of its cocoon. _

_She knew that she was going to die. She knew for a long time but she didn't know how or why or even _

_I was going to write that she didn't know when. But she did. At first Buffy thought that she meant she had plans to kill herself. But she told her over and over that she didn't. And so we watched her. I thought it was just a job. A way to help my sister. But it was more than that. Cassie became my friend. She made my life brighter, being in it. So much darkness and fear and doubt and she made me smile._

_Buffy found out that a group of boys wanted to kill her. I don't know what for. They wanted something and they thought they could get away with killing her. They said that she was just some goth emo chick that no one would miss. That everyone would think she'd jumped in the river to drown or something. _

_But I miss her. I miss everyone. How can I miss someone so much when she was in my life for such a short time? How could she affect me that much?_

_Buffy saved her. She stopped those boys from killing Cassie twice. One boy had a knife. Another had rigged a crossbow to shoot anyone that tried to come into the place they were going to hurt her in. The library, I think. Bad things always happen in the library. But Buffy stopped them. She always stops them. _

_And then, just when Buffy thought that she had done her job, that she had helped another person..._

_Cassie's heart stopped and she died right in front of my sister. Buffy couldn't help her this time. I hate fate and I hate destiny. It takes everyone away. But if everything is going to happen no matter what, then was it fate that made her my friend? Do we ever make choices because we make them or does fate just want it that way? Why do we have friends if they're just going to leave us in the end, one way or another? _

_Buffy is going to go talk to Cassie's mom again. In person this time, instead of over the phone. Willow is to stay here with me and Xander is on his way. Buffy told me that the principal said that Cassie's mom said that their family had a history of heart problems. She never told Cassie. She didn't tell the school either, or Buffy would have known. But somehow Cassie knew. She knew she would die. In a different way that everyone knows that. She knew all the things she would never get to do. A way that she would never live. All the things she would never experience. _

_I want to do these things for her. To honor her. To remember her. But I'm scared. To go out into that world is scary. It's dangerous. There are so many bad things out there. Not just health problems. Like people with guns. My sister was shot last year. Tara was shot and she died. My mom died. So many people my sister tried to help but couldn't save. Car accidents. I was in one that Willow caused. It hurt and I was so scared. But somehow it's different right now. I look back on these things and remember the hurt and the pain. It seems... faded, sometimes distant, sometimes like it was happening to another person. _

_I wi..._

_I don't even dare write that. _

_Buffy is home now and calling for me to come down stairs now. She says she doesn't want me to be alone right now. I think she is remembering how it was after Mom died. I was in such a bad place. We both were. I think I will go down. I need her to lean on me, because I really need to lean on her too._

The letter ended there and it fluttered out of Max's hand as the soothing rub stilled. And then both of her arms were wrapped around his torso as she hugged herself close to him.

"Oh Joshua," she cried out softly. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!"

"It hurts," he moaned quietly. "Why does it hurt Max?"

"Because Dawn is your friend," she answered immediately. "It always hurts when your friends are in pain. Even if you don't know each other face to face." She carefully collected the letter and moved it out of the way as she scooted back slightly and turned on the sofa to face him, cupping his cheek. "Dawn's pain is very evident, but..." she sighed, her shoulders drooping. "I don't think that she meant that to be a real letter yo you Joshua. She wrote that she didn't keep a diary anymore and that's what it sounded like she was doing. I wonder..."

"Not important," Joshua decided and Max went still. He continued slowly. "Not matter if she meant to. I know now. Need to help."

"Of course you do," Max sighed, but she sounded relieved to his ears. She hugged him once more. "You have such a great... empathy in you," she murmured softly. And then drew in a deep breath. "Okay, Dawn needs her friends and family to help her through this, obviously. Anytime anyone dies, it's..." she broke off and winced and Joshua knew that she must be thinking off her own losses, such as he had the first time he had read the letter. Max had been out in the world so much longer than he. He wondered, not vaguely and not for the first time, how many horrors his little friend, maybe either of them, Max and Dawn, had seen. Different to be sure than what happened at Manticore. But he knew enough of life that the world wasn't always bright and beautiful and a surprise around every corner. Sometimes it was dark and moonless, with no idea where to go, who to trust, how to survive.

"It hurts," he stated simply again and Max nodded slowly.

"Well," she murmured. "How about we have a little something to eat and if you'd like, we can write back to Dawn."

"Max write too?" Joshua wondered. Max swallowed heavily. And then smiled sadly.

"I don't know if I can," she whispered brokenly and then seemed to rally slightly. "But if I can't, I think any words you use would be beautiful. Because they'll come from your heart."

Joshua nodded. And felt an easing in his chest at last. When she rose and held out her hand to him, he took it and followed after her.

"Where is it?" Dawn murmured as she flipped through the admittedly small pile of papers that had littered her desk in her bedroom. Her face twisted slightly as she tried to remember that night, without crying again. She had been upset, that was a given, she had been sitting on her bed, waiting for Buffy to return. The silence had been...

She straightened up and chewed on her lower lip for a moment. Better not to think of that. But her bed was a clue. She moved over to the wide piece of furniture and perched on the edge, reaching to open the bed side nightstand drawer. She rifled through the the assorted junk accumulated there. Aha!

She had found the notepad that had the letter to Joshua that she had started recently. She flipped through the notepad, but to her horror, the other letter wasn't there. She blinked owlishly at the notepad and then set it aside to keep digging. There was little other paper there and she was careful to unfold every bit and scrap, but the letter, not really a letter, was not present. With a sigh, she picked up the notepad that contained the letter she had started and shutting the drawer, carried it downstairs.

She had just gotten into a comfortable perch on the sofa when she noticed that Willow was setting up her laptop at the table. The two girls exchanged glances and while Willow booted up her computer and was waiting for it to get through the start up procedure, the redhead approached the doorway to the living room.

"Hey Dawnie," she smiled, still a little unsure of herself in the aftermath of everything that had happened since her return from England. "I just made a pitcher of iced tea. Can I tempt you with some sugary lemony yummy?"

"That'd be good," Dawn smiled up at her friend. Willow, while dealing with the darkness that she had found within herself and the aftermath of destruction she had wrought, was still pretty much the same person and Dawn found herself reacting to that quite a bit. But she still couldn't forget. There was a lot that Dawn couldn't forget.

She turned her attention back to the sheet of paper that she had started scribbling on a few days ago. There were plenty of things crossed out as she had to censor herself sometimes, trying to read about her teen aged adventures as an outsider would, not as someone well ensconced in the Scooby gang might. She had worried sometime that even vague references might bring up some questions. So this was actually just a first draft letter to her new friend.

"Here you go sweetie," Willow offered, as she held out a tall glass of refreshment to the teen. "What're you working on?"

Dawn accepted the drink and took a small swallow, finding the level of sweet just to her liking. Which was about three times the amount of anyone else in the house. "A letter to Joshua," she explained easily.

"Another one?" Willow smiled. "Already?"

"What do you mean?" Dawn's suspic-o-meter went up. "I haven't written to him- oh!" Realization landed immediately over her missing letter that wasn't a letter. "Someone mailed it!" she half shrieked. "Did you mail that Willow?" she demanded suddenly.

"Mail... what?" Willow looked confused and upset and... well confused. She shook her head. "You mean the letter you left on the table the other morning?" Her fingers began to wring around the glass she still held.

"It wasn't a letter," Dawn gasped, sitting straight up, unmindful of her own drink until it splashed several droplets on her pants leg. "I mean, it was... but I never meant..."

"Oh. I'm so sorry Dawnie," Willow frowned, setting herself down immediately on the coffee table before the teen. "I- I saw it, on the table. And it was addressed... And I-I thought that you were just... just in too much of a hurry... I'm sorry. Was it not...?"

"Okay," Dawn squeezed her eyes shut. "Okay, it was an accident right?"

"I'm sure it was," Willow winced. "But, um, if it wasn't a letter, why, um..."

Dawn's shoulder's sagged as she regarded Willow miserably. "I wrote it, um... about Cassie," she whispered. "But I never meant to send it."

"Oh Dawnie," Willow sympathized immediately, setting her glass down and reaching to encircle the girl in her arms. "I'm so sorry. I saw it and there was an envelope there. I just thought I'd save you the time."

"No," Dawn shook her head. "No, it's my fault. I was going to throw it out, but..." And then she stiffened in her friends arms. "Oh no. Oh no, oh no! Buffy's going to kill me!"

"Oh, I don't think she'd get upset about..." and then realization struck Willow too. "Oh Dawn, what did you write?" Dawn was already wincing and shrinking back as the redheaded witch let her loose to search her face. Dawn was immediately shaking her head.

"I don't remember!" she wailed.

"Okay," Willow sighed out, standing to pace around the living room floor. "Okay, maybe it wasn't so bad. I mean, did you put anything in there about... anything?"

"I don't know," Dawn sniffled out. "I mean, I was upset. I was just rambling. Like, like I was writing in my d-diary or something." Willow's shoulder's sagged and she paused momentarily.

"Okay, m-maybe your friend will um, I mean, he's pretty young right?" she asked hopefully. "Maybe he won't understand and be so confused that he'll just like... throw it out or something."

"I don't think he's _that_ young," Dawn snorted, rising as well. "But maybe, I mean, it was pretty obvious I was upset. Maybe, maybe he'll just think that it's all crap or something. Oh god, how am I going to fix this?"

"Maybe, maybe," Willow gasped out, "it'll get lost in the mail. I mean, that happens all the time."

"Yeah," Dawn rolled her eyes. "That only happens in movies and when you really need something to show up on time. I don't think I'd be that lucky Willow. We do live on a hellmouth, remember." She dragged one hand over her face. "When did you mail it?"

"Um, a couple days ago," Willow winced. They both sagged then. After long moments, Willow sucked in a huge gulp of air. "I don't think there's anything we can do Dawnie," she whispered. "Maybe, you should um, you should probably write to Joshua and uh, tell him..."

"I'll just," Dawn winced as she dropped back down tot eh sofa. "I think I'll just have to tell him, uh, I was on medication!" she declared suddenly. "I was so upset about Cassie," she winced again, because that was certainly the truth, "and I took some cold medicine to help me sleep and it made me all loopy or something."

"Well," Willow hedged. "Or maybe, you could just tell him the truth. That you were so upset that things just came out that you weren't even aware of. That probably didn't make any sense to him and probably wouldn't to you now that you're through some of the... the grief. And that the letter wasn't supposed to be mailed, but I messed that up."

"Or... okay," Dawn sighed as she processed what Willow had said. It was a very believable explanation, rooted very much in the truth. "That would work too, I suppose." She reached for her notepad again and scrapped the letter that she had been planning. She crumpled the sheet and tossed it onto the coffee table. She chewed at her lower lip again and held the pen poised over the paper. She shuddered a little and Willow, quick to be supportive as she could, dropped down next to her and wrapped an arm around the teen's shoulders.

"Don't worry Dawnie," she soothed. "I'm sure your friend will understand."

"It's not that," Dawn whimpered, clutching the pen with both hands. She pulled her head up to glance at the redhead. "It's just... who's going to tell Buffy?"


	6. A Little Out Of My Mind

**Title: Accidental Pen Pals**

Chapter Title: A Little Out Of My Mind

Author: Restive Nature

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to BtVS or Dark Angel. They belong respectively to Whedon & Mutant Enemy and to Cameron/ Eglee. No infringement is intended and this fiction is for private enjoyment only.

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Crossover

Type: Friendship/ Humor

Pairing: Dawn/ Joshua (as friends)

Summary: All she asked for was a little help on a school project... but this IS Dawn we're talking about here.

Spoilers/ Time line: This is Season 7 for BtVS and Season 2 for Dark Angel. But things have been skewed for BtVS so that the show fits into the Dark Angel format of Post-Pulse.

Feedback: Always welcome!

Distribution: Ask first please.

A/N: This is a response to the Pen Pals Challenge. For challenge details, please see the first chapter.

Accidental Pen Pals

Chapter Six

A Little Out Of My Mind

Dawn arrived home, having had to walk that day since both Buffy and Xander had things to attend to after school. It wasn't much like she had minded. She had looked forward to the solitude.

Buffy as it had turned out, was pretty understanding about the whole situation, that Willow had manned up and took responsibility for. She had explained to Buffy that she was the one that had taken the letter, assuming that Dawn had wanted to mail it, simply based on the assumption that the letter was on the table and there were addressed envelopes there. Dawn had explained that part, since she wanted to make sure that she had plenty of envelopes and didn't want to have to search out his address each time. Both women rolled their eyes at what Dawn was sure they considered laziness on her part. Or disorganization, since she sometimes ended up with papers everywhere.

So Buffy had been dismayed, but offered that perhaps Dawn had been good enough to not mention things better left unsaid, outright in her letter. And the more she encouraged Dawn to think about it, Dawn was sure that she had not mentioned her sister being the Slayer. In actual terms. But she had written a lot. There was something about herself too, but she couldn't remember exactly what. Of course, she had scribbled out her feelings and then hadn't read the words again, finding them still too fresh, too painful.

So she had taken Buffy's advice and had written off a quick missive to Joshua, explaining what had happened. She had asked him to forgive the verbal spewing that did not translate very well onto paper. Because Buffy was right. Short of asking Willow to magically poof the letter; which was not a good use of Wiccan powers, or, really, a task that Willow even wanted to try, as small as it seemed, it was the only course of action available to them.

But Dawn still felt that horrible sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. While all the kids at school were getting excited by the upcoming Halloween dance, one that Dawn knew she would avoid like the plague, or all the tricks they could pull on the teachers, she had been mulling over that letter. It really wasn't fair, she had thought, even if she hadn't written anything incriminating, to put that burden on another person like that. Especially one as young as Joshua seemed to be. She really hoped that if he did have that letter and read it, that someone would help him to understand.

When she reached home, she was startled to find that there was a letter there, waiting for her among the bills and advertisements. Relieved that Buffy wasn't home, nor Willow, Dawn deposited her belongings on the dining room table and separated her letter from the rest and took it to the living room. She curled up at one end of the couch and stared at the envelope. The words looked like the others she had received, no clue there. Nothing to tell her that this perfectly nice person thought she was crazy, insane or needed mental help. Biting at her lip, Dawn mulled over waiting until someone else was home before she opened it.

But then, she stiffened her spine and resolve. How was she ever going to prove that she was mature enough to handle stuff like this unless she just did it. Decided, she slid her finger under the edge of the glued flap and tore open the letter. There were several sheets and as she unfolded them, the words at the top made her shake just a little.

_Dearest Dawn_ (she read)

_I am so very terribly sorry for this horrible thing that has happened to you and your family. When I read your letter, I felt the heaviest pain in my chest. I couldn't understand until I realized that I was asking the same questions that you had. I didn't understand how I could hurt so badly for someone I don't know very well. I think it is because we are humans who care. I care about the people who are in my life, even if it just for a moment or longer. I care about the post man who brings your letters. Who he is, does he have a family, what makes him smile when he comes to my porch. What makes him whistle a certain song when the sun shines. _

_I care about my friends. Did Max have a good day at work? Did she and her friend Cindy enjoy their night out? What would she like to do when she comes over for dinner. And I care about you. What will Dawn write about next? Would she like to hear about the new book I read? How is her project at school going? I think the reason that we care is because people, new ones and old, make us feel something or think something and because everything in this world matters, the people who do these things matter most. _

_I think I understood most when you said that people might think of you and your friends as freaks. Where I lived before, everyone thought I was a freak. But to some people, it didn't matter. Max was my friend there and she told all her friends that I was a person. Someone who mattered. She tried to help me out and I am very grateful that she did. She is now my closest friend. She is like a sister to me. And her friends care about me because she cares. She was also very saddened to hear about what happened to your friend. She cried. And I think she did because she remembers what it is like to lose friends. _

_She told me that when someone dies, even if it wasn't someone we knew very well, it makes us stop and think about the things that are most important in our lives. But she also said that understanding takes time to happen. She said and I agree, that it sounds like you need more time. She thinks that maybe you sent that letter by mistake. That you hadn't meant it as a real letter to me, but were writing to express some of the pain that you couldn't hold inside. _

_I am glad though that you sent it to me. Holding pain inside can make you feel twisted and wrong. I remember this feeling. It is not good. It's like a sickness inside and for that reason, I am glad to have this letter, even if it made my heart hurt. I understand that you didn't know this Cassie girl for very long. But maybe if you can remember the things about her that made you smile, then it will help. Max told me about one of her friends that died last year. She started telling me a sad story about him, but then started laughing as she remembered some of the funny things he said to her. It made it easier for her. His name was Theo. He use to work with her. Maybe not the same thing for you. I don't know. It can be hard to find happiness in sadness. _

_The other things you said in your letter that I really liked was that you wanted to lean on your sister and she could lean on you too. But you were afraid that you would topple over. I wanted to smile at the picture in my mind of that. It seemed so simple to me, the answer to that. I thought, Dawn needs to have another lean. If she asked someone to help lean, then their stand would be stronger. The more support, the stronger they will be together than just the two of them. I hope that you can do that. I hope someone else will lean with you._

_It sounds to me like you and your friends and family have had some rough times. I was thinking about tough times I have had. And some times I do not even know how I managed to get through them. I think I always just thought of better times that I had, or thought about how things could be different in time. And I was right. Things have gotten better for me. Things will never be perfect, but I am happier now in my life, than I had been in such a long time. And one of those reasons is because you take time in your life to be my friend. I hope that doesn't change. It seems to me that we could also lean on each other too. I will be sending you all the joyful and happy thoughts that I can, to help you get through this difficult time._

_With love and friendship,_

_Joshua_

Dawn let the letter droop a little as she sniffled and reached quickly for the box of tissues that were auspiciously placed on the end table. She mopped at the tears streaming down her face as the pressure of worry lifted from her chest. She had noticed that there was a post script in a different writing style and she would read it. But first she needed a moment. Once she had dried her eyes enough, she turned her attention to the added missive and her breath caught as she read it.

_Dawn, _(it began)

_Please forgive my presumptuousness in adding this note. My name is Max, and I'm the one who runs errands for Joshua. He was very upset when he got your letter and allowed me to read it. He wasn't trying to divulge your secrets but simply wanted help in helping you. We both understand the grieving process and figured your letter for an attempt to help yourself deal with your loss for which we are both very sorry. I can only hope that you both continue your letters. I can't even adequately describe the joy that Joshua has when he receives a letter from you, but you brighten his day as nothing else does. _

_With deepest sympathies,_

_Max_

Dawn gasped slightly and then let out a relieved whoop. She hadn't messed up monumentally. And they had totally understood exactly what that letter was. Oh, she knew that Buffy would be so relieved to hear it. But then she glanced at it once more. She frowned as she read over the post script once again. Was this Max worried that she'd be so upset or embarrassed that she'd stop writing to Joshua? Especially after he'd written such a kind and caring letter? Pfft! Dawn lived on the hellmouth and faced dangers far worse than a little embarrassment. After all, she was a teen made with a sterner metal than any knew.

With a grin, she set the letter on the coffee table before her and wondered just how much time she had before her sister got home to insist that homework get finished. Not like she had all that much to do. Pushing herself up from the sofa, she made her way to the kitchen to retrieve a snack and work on her next letter to Joshua. This one wouldn't need any artificial sweetener to it. She was feeling so much better already, though nothing would take away the ache that Cassie's loss had prompted. Except time and distance from the event itself.

Joshua stood in his kitchen eying the mostly bare cupboards. Max had brought him supplies, to tide him over for when she might not be able to make it over to him. Since she usually brought hot meals after her shift at Jam Pony Messenger Service, she had decided to bring by some dry cereal in bags and boxes. There were also some canned goods. But the longer Joshua stared, the less hungry he felt. But it was noon time and that was eating time. With a sigh, Joshua closed the cupboard door and then stilled as noise echoed outside the house.

Falling into an immediate crouch, he moved as silently as possible to the safety of the lower cupboards that would shield him from the covered window. He listened intently, Max's warnings ringing in his mind. But the sounds were slightly familiar, even if they were happening at the wrong time. When he heard the creak of the mail slot in the door, he cocked his head in puzzlement. Why was someone playing with his mail slot?

Perhaps it was some neighborhood children, like those loud boys he had heard down the street. Yelling, playing, arguing, hitting, riding old bicycles one after the other, racing by his window. Joshua remembered Father reading a story about some boys that liked to play pranks on people and one of the bad things they had done, was to put things like little firecrackers in people mail boxes. Joshua wondered who, if this was the case, would teach them a lesson, if they were being naughty.

But there was simply the sound of something light landing on the carpeted area. And then the footsteps, heavier than the mailman's or Max's, were clumping down the wooden steps. Joshua waited several minutes until he was sure that the coast was clear. When he made it, crawling on all fours to the living room window, he was able to catch just a glimpse of the familiar uniform of a post man. But it wasn't his post man. This person wearing the uniform was a large woman with curly red hair stuffed up under her post man hat. Joshua grinned slightly. Post woman.

But why had his post man not come? Why had this post woman come to his house early. He made his way to the door, forgetting hiding now, since he was pretty sure that there were no naughty boys. And sure enough, there was a white envelope. With a whoop of joy, he retrieved it, wondering who it could be from. Perhaps it was the mail man that delivered Dawn Summers letters. Maybe this post woman was delivering from somebody else. But that was not right. Max had explained that mail men had routes that they traveled each day. But sometimes, he suddenly remembered, like messengers, if someone was sick or hurt, the others that worked with them would trade routes, or shifts! He remembered that, feeling triumphant.

Because the letter was from Dawn. And checking the post stamp, he saw that it was dated for just a few days after she had sent her last letter. It felt very light and was very thin. Forgetting about meal time for the moment, Joshua carried the letter to the sofa and made himself comfortable to read what Dawn had written.

_Dear Joshua,_

_I am so very sorry for the last letter that you may have received from me. The one about my friend Cassie. If you haven't received it, then please, please, please, feel free to just tear this one up and throw it away!_

_Anyways, if you did get the letter and read it, I'm guessing it probably didn't make much sense. You see, Cassie died and I was, well I was kinda out of my head when I wrote all that stuff. I don't even really remember what I did write. And I certainly didn't mean for it to be mailed. I had set it aside when I was getting some homework. Since it was on the dining room table, my friend Willow thought I meant for it to be mailed. So she thought she would be nice and do that for me. _

_Things have kind of been a little crazy around here. I hope you understand. I don't want to come off as... well, I don't know. I guess I just wanted you to know that letters like that aren't what I like to write, especially to someone who has been as nice and as understanding as you've been._

_Your friend,_

_Dawn_

Joshua smiled and read through it again. Max had been right. Poor Dawn was probably very upset about her friends mistake. He stood to put the letter with the others on the mantel. And then moved off to find his pen and paper. Dawn deserved another letter to make her smile now.

Joshua was frustrated.

Plain and simple, he had managed to put a paragraph down on paper, for Dawn to have. He wanted to assure her that he wasn't upset by the mistake and certainly wouldn't hold anything against her about that. Like Max had said, grief was a process.

No, what had Joshua frustrated was that aside from Dawn's letters, Max's visits and the books he read, there was very little to talk about. At least any safe topic. He had already told her the very little that he could of his past. He could not talk about Max much either. And it felt rude to talk about Cindy, even in a letter, having only met her once himself, when he had trailed Max's scent to her apartment and Cindy had kindly made him breakfast.

Luckily, Max had come by that night and he had presented the problem to her. She had offered several suggestions which Joshua had decided to think over, sleep on and then decide which he would use in the morning.

But when he finally felt in the mood to write, he was interrupted by the coming of the post man _again_! He recognized the correct foot steps this time and was relieved to see his post man there. True, he was now carrying a dark blue handkerchief in his hand that he used to wipe his nose. He stuffed the handkerchief into his coat pocket, before he rummaged through the small packet of letters he held in his hand before finding one for the Sandeman house and putting it through the slot. Joshua smiled wistfully as he heard a distinctive sneeze reverberate through the window and the post man retrieved his handkerchief once more as he moved on to the next house.

"Feel better," Joshua called out as he watched the man's back retreating. And then he made a hurried dash to the front door.

Again, he performed his little ritual, excited that he had two letters so close together. He could hardly wait to read it and his hands were trembling slightly. Perhaps Dawn would have questions for him about his favorite things, like Max had said he could write. He paused only momentarily when he thought that this letter might be sad too. But his curiosity was rising and he hurriedly pulled the letter out of the envelope.

_Dear Joshua,_

_What a wonderful letter you sent. I am so happy that we decided to keep writing to each other. Your words helped so much. And maybe, just knowing that I'm not alone in what I felt and feel helped more than I knew. And I am relieved that you understood that journal letter. I haven't kept a diary for a while. I think I remember writing something about that before. Oh well! No worries about that, right?_

_Things have been a little better since after that day. Unfortunately, our friend Anya decided to quit her job after some really bad accidents happened that she caused. It was a very hard decision for her to make, but in the end, I think it was the best for her. I know you might not understand, so I'll try to explain. _

_See, she and my friend Xander were supposed to get married last year. And Xander wasn't sure about it. So he told her, on the day of their wedding, that he couldn't go through with it. Anya was devastated of course. And because she didn't know what else to do, she went back to her old job. Even though she wasn't right for it anymore, in my opinion. And of course, because she had changed so much, she wasn't committed to the job like she used to be. She seemed to get into trouble a lot. I know she said a few weeks ago that some of her privileges at work got revoked because of her behavior. _

_So now, she's hanging around the house, not knowing what to do. The store where she also used to work is gone now, so she can't go back there. Mostly she wanders around the house, telling me how I could be doing things better. I figure that she might be right. But I'm still a teenager and allowed to make _some_ mistakes! Right? I know Buffy is a little wary about having her here. The house sure is getting full. At least Xander has his apartment to escape to. I bet it must be hard to have to see the person you loved so much but couldn't be there for and disappointed so badly day after day. And be reminded of how bad things got, all the time. If there's one thing Anya is good at, it's being sarcastically mean. And blunt. She's very blunt._

_Halloween is coming up right away. I had a sleepover last year that ended badly. So I don't think that I'll be going out. Trick or treating is passe at my age. There is also a dance, but no one has asked me. And I don't really feel like going and having all the ditzy girls running the show. They never play any cool music anyways. But what about you? Are you going to go out trick or treating? What will you dress up as?_

_I remember one year, when we were little, my sister dressed up as an ice skater. She really liked Dorothy Hamil, this skater from like, forever ago! And my mom was so cool. She made this awesome costume for me. She dressed me up as a Zamboni. If you don't know, that is the machine they used to clean and smooth the ice after everyone was done skating. Then she took us trick or treating. That was when we lived in Los Angeles. I remember we got so much candy because people thought we were so cute and ingenious. _

_I should probably remember to ask Buffy if we're going to get some candy this year, in case anyone comes to the house. They usually do. If we don't have candy when they come, they might egg and TP our house. And I know exactly who would have to help clean it. That's right. Me! I hope you're the kind of person who wouldn't do something like that. Because dried egg? It's like cement. It just does not come off nicely. Of course, I've seen worse things to be covered in that I won't mention because urgh, they're also super gross!_

_Anyway, I need to get started on my homework. I hope things are going well for you and your friends. Your Max sounds like a really nice, smart person. And I would really be happy if you could pass that on to her for me. _

_Your friend, _

_Dawn_

Joshua laughed with delight as he read through the letter. And then again more slowly the second time. What was this Halloween Dawn talked about? It sounded like a most excellent subject to look up and ask Max about. It seemed a little familiar. And dressing up! Father had always said that dressing up was a special occasion. Perhaps Max or Cindy would have some ideas.

Renewed, Joshua found his letter again and busily put his mind to work as the words flowed from hand to paper.


	7. Back And Forth

**Title: Accidental Pen Pals**

Chapter Title: Back And Forth

Author: Restive Nature

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to BtVS or Dark Angel. They belong respectively to Whedon & Mutant Enemy and to Cameron/Eglee. No infringement is intended and this fiction is for private enjoyment only.

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Crossover

Type: Friendship/ Humor

Pairing: Dawn/ Joshua (as friends)

Summary: All she asked for was a little help on a school project... but this IS Dawn we're talking about here.

Spoilers/ Time line: This is Season 7 for BtVS and Season 2 for Dark Angel. But things have been skewed for BtVS so that the show fits into the Dark Angel format of Post-Pulse.

Feedback: Always welcome!

Distribution: Ask first please.

A/N: This is a response to the Pen Pals Challenge. For challenge details, please see the first chapter.

Accidental Pen Pals

Chapter Seven

Back And Forth

_Dear Dawn,_

_I wanted to let you know that I did receive the letter you did not mean to send. If you have received the last letter I sent, that must be very obvious. It seems to me that it was a simple mistake that your friend made. Some times friends do that. I hope you are not too upset with your friend Willow. At least she is a person who cares. And after I talked with Max about it, we understand better about how grief sometimes works. And sometimes doesn't. I know that there have been times when my mind has taken me to places that I did not understand. I would hope that no one would hold that against me. I do not hold your sadness against you. It is part of you and so far, I have liked what I have known about you. _

_I received another letter from you today. I was very happy to see my post man back. But I think he has a cold and that was why he wasn't working before. I don't get colds very often. Almost never. Do you? I recall that I do not like them. When I sneeze, my nose tickles before and after and it is hard to breath. _

_I hope your friend Anya finds another job. One that she will like. My friends Max and Cindy work at jobs that they don't like. Actually, I think it is their boss that they do not like. Max stays at her job because she likes the people there and she gets to go outside lots, away from her boss. It would be better if people could work at jobs that only made them happy. But I guess we can't be happy all the time. If there was no sadness or hard times, then we would not appreciate the good times when they come. _

_What kind of work do your friends do? You said that your sister works at your school. That must be exciting to have someone you love around all day. Of course, I think that you must have to be in different places when she is working and you are in your classes. Which class is your favorite now? And what do you want for a job when you are done your schooling? If I could choose a job, I thought I would like to be a post man. _

_I told that to Max and she said that she thought I would do well at it. To go outside and walk and deliver happy letters to people. But then Max laughed and said that some people don't like the post people because they deliver letters from companies that demand money in not so nice ways. I would not like to deliver bad news. And I do not think I would like delivering letters in the rain. And it rains a lot here. Maybe that is how the post man caught his cold. _

_That is what people always say. How bad weather always makes people sick. But it is not. Colds are actually caused by germs. And germs like to be where it is warm. Not where it is cold or rainy, or snowy. I know that California does not get a lot of snow. At least not most of it. Do you get many rainy days?_

_I wanted to learn about Halloween. It is not an occasion that I have ever celebrated. When I read that you dress up, I first thought that you meant special occasion clothes. The kind that are sparkly and fine. But then I read more about it. You meant costumes! I never imagined that someone could dress up like a big machine, like you did when you were little. But I found a book that had some costume ideas. They even had a special section for just face painting. I laughed so hard when I saw the painted faces for the puppies and the kittens. They were very cute. The skunk was very funny as well. _

_I am sorry that your friends Xander and Anya did not marry. Or maybe I am more sorry that the decision caused them so much upset. When I told Max that, she said that she did not understand why people got married when the rate of divorce was so high. Then she changed her mind when she went to her first wedding a while ago. I think that sometimes, if people enter a union like that, where they know that they can just change their mind, even if they say they will be together forever, it can end badly. If you are going to make a commitment, then you should be sure that you can honor it. _

_I think that maybe your friend Xander was unsure about himself being committed. But that is just my thought. Perhaps it was for the best for him to take time to discover this truth about himself. And I wonder now, what kind of job does Xander have, since I had asked before. Is it something that makes him happy?_

_I should probably end this letter soon. Even though I have enjoyed asking you questions and telling you what I have learned and thought. Max says that it is only fair that you have a turn as well. So I look forward to your next letter very much!_

_Your friend,_

_Joshua_

_Dear Joshua,_

_That last letter was just great. It made me smile and laugh. Wow, you thought a lot! It's so great. Sometimes I have trouble getting the chance to express myself. With my big sister, sometimes she doesn't listen to what I have to say because she doesn't think I have enough or as much experience she does. And with so may people in the house all the time, sometimes I can't make my voice loud enough to be heard. And since the friends I have made at school are still pretty new to me, I don't always say what I want to. I just nod and smile. _

_See, I started high school this year. And because of the area we live in, that means that I go to Sunnydale High, instead of the other high school. So a lot of the kids that I went to junior high with, are not there in my classes any more. And because we have different teachers and so many different classes to choose from instead of just the core classes of math and English and history, I don't have a lot of the same kids in my classes. _

_But I did make some friends my very first day. Their names are Kit and Carlos and we try to eat lunch together every day at school. And I do see Buffy occasionally. She works in the office as a guidance counselor. Technically, she's not qualified with a counselor's degree or anything like that. Our principal, Mr. Wood, hired her through the community outreach program for volunteers. He said that since she was young, it might be easier for teenagers to relate and open up to her. And I guess they do. _

_I also see my friend Xander at the school some too. He works in the construction business. They just rebuilt Sunnydale High this past summer. When my sister graduated there was a horrible mess because of an explosion from some problem with the gas lines in the basement or something like that. So enough of the new school was built by the start of the school year, but Xander and his crew are still working on the science wing and they are about done with the reinforcements of the gym they were doing. And he loves his job. I remember that he first started doing it just to earn some money. But he was very good at it and the company wanted to hire him on full time. He even gets to meet with the clients and stuff now. I think they call him a foreman or something. _

_Our friend Willow is not working at a job at the moment. She just got back from a trip to England, where she took some time off from everything to deal with everything that was going on in her life. She attended college with my sister. She just started back there now. I don't think she's actually trying to earn a specific degree. At least she hasn't said anything like that. But she does like taking classes in psychology and history and stuff about feminism. Willow's a lot like me in that we are both book nerdy. And pretty smart. _

_Speaking of which, my reports on the cities are going really well. We should be doing our final presentations soon. Probably middle to end of next month. Our teacher even gave the AV club permission to film it. So instead of doing it in the classroom, like we had thought, we're going to do them in the auditorium over several days. We're even planning on inviting our parents or guardians and any friends we want. They should have copies available to buy. So what kind of media should I get for you? I thought it was only fair that you get to see what you helped me do. If I order a dvd, would that be okay? I am so excited and nervous at the same time to be taped! I hope I don't get so nervous that I throw up. _

_Now as for myself, I don't know anymore what I want to be when I grow up. For the longest time, I used to be jealous of Buffy. She always had such a great time, it seemed to me, at whatever she did. But I'm starting to see now how tough she really has things. My mom had an art gallery that focused on natural history and sometimes I think that I'd like to do something with art. And sometimes I think that I would be great at researching things. I'm also trying to learn some of the more obscure languages. I was curious one time, so I borrowed Willow's computer to research which schools have the best language programs. _

_It would be neat to study at a few of those places, but Ivy league schools are still so expensive. I'd have to get a ton of scholarships to even begin thinking about it. But I still have several years plus what's left of this one to get through. Yikes. Sometimes it seems like forever and sometimes it doesn't seem like enough. I think, if I really could do what I wanted, without having to worry about how much it cost or anything like that, I would want to study abroad. Like maybe take courses at different schools in different countries. That would be so amazing. _

_Like, I could go to England and Ireland, Germany, Italy, France, maybe even China. That would be so funny because I'm getting so tall and Asian people are usually so short. I could just see myself trying to talk in a funny accent and sound like I belong, but I would so look like a tourist. Maybe I should just think of sticking to places that predominantly speak English. So there's a question for you? Do you know any other languages? If so, what are they? And if not, are there any that you would like to learn? Spanish language classes are pretty mandatory here. But French is making a comeback. _

_And Joshua, just so you know, I think you're kinda right about what you said about Xander. Maybe I'll write more about him in my next letter._

_Your friend,_

_Dawn_

_Dear Dawn,_

_I hope you had a good Halloween. My Halloween night started off very slowly. There were children dressed up and running around in the streets. I could hear them laughing and screaming and see them chasing each other as the went to the places they wanted to. I thought I would have to stay home because Max doesn't like Halloween. But she changed her mind and took me out to trick and treat. There were so many scary costumes. But I could tell it was just people underneath. We had fun together everyone liked my costume. Cindy wanted to dress up as someone called Rick James. I don't know who that is. But she couldn't get her hair to curl like she wanted to. _

_Max told me the day after Halloween, people from her job put toilet paper all over their work building because their boss is mean. She laughed and told me that she warned him that was going to happen. I think that's not very nice. I am glad that my house did not get T.P.'d. That's how Max said it. _

_I do not know any other languages, except the English that I was taught. It would be interesting to be able to speak another language, but I think the language we speak is very confusing some times. I should probably master it a little more before I speak another language. If I could choose one though, I would want to speak Chinese or Japanese. Then I would understand some of the things I hear people yelling down the street. I think it is funny that when they yell, they always sound angry, even if they are laughing and happy._

_I am glad that your friend Xander likes his job. And Willow sounds like she has a job too. I heard someone call it being a professional student. I don't suppose that it would have a paycheck, because the student has to pay for the classes themselves. At first, I didn't think that was fair, but then I realized that schools have to pay for the teachers and the books. _

_I think that I too, would like to visit all those places that you talked about studying in. Did you mean studying at a school? Or did you want life lessons? Those are very important too. I like to read about Italy, Rome and think about what I could learn from the ruins and artifacts they have there. Did the people that live there a long time ago think about the things that we do? Were their lives simpler than ours? Or were they more complicated because they had to do more for themselves without the modern conveniences that we have? These are the things that I think I would like to learn. I would be a professional philosophy student, ha ha._

_That feels strange to write that I was laughing just then. But since I am writing, how else would you hear my joy? Speaking of joy, I have been learning about the next holiday coming up. Thanksgiving. The name of the holiday sounds so wonderful. It is difficult to learn the history behind it. There are so many accounts of how the people that came to this country abused the Native Americans. It makes my chest hurt to read about it sometimes. Is this something that you learned about in school? What do you plan to do for Thanksgiving? Will you be spending it with your family?_

_I look forward to hearing from you,_

_Joshua_

_Dear Joshua,_

_Oh my God, the most amazing thing happened today. I was having lunch with my sister out on the bleachers at the track. Which wasn't the amazing thing, but what was, was that the boys were having football practice. I mean, they always have football practise or running or something like that. But I was there today and it was just whoa! One looke and... and I am so totally in love. RJ! He's a quarterback for our team and he is so gorgeous. I mean seriously, he has these absolutely beautiful eyes and hair. I could so run my fingers through his hair. And he throws passes like... like something really fast I bet. Because our team is so totally going all the way this year. Especially with RJ at the helm. I talked to him today! We share the same teacher. Well, I mean, he had him at the old high school. And I have him now. But it's something in common, right? It's like fate is just throwing us together. _

_And I heard that there are going to be cheerleader tryouts tomorrow! See, the boys really need good solid spirit to drive their plays or something. And normally the cheerleader tryouts are earlier in the year. But one of the girls got hurt. Like, broke her leg or something. So they need someone to replace and I'm going to try out! I can just see it now, I'll be cheering RJ on and after the game we can hang out and before you know it, we'll be going steady. He'll probably get a football scholarship and we can attend college together. I need to remember to get Buffy's old cheer leading uniform out for the tryouts. She was one at the old high school and back when we lived in LA. And really, she's been teaching me some stuff. Not cheer leading exactly, but the moves will be super cool and I bet no one else will know them. I will be looking good, especially since I have an authentic Sunnydale High cheer leading uniform and none of the other girls do. I wonder if RJ likes retro stuff. He must, since he has this really wicked letterman's jacket that he wears ALL the time!_

_I wonder if the football team is going to watch the try outs and cheer the girls on. That would be so cute. And I could see the guys doing something like that. RJ is so thoughtful like that. You should see how nice he is to everyone. Even people that are being, like total snobs to other people. Well, I'm going to go find Buffy's old uniform. Wish me luck!_

_Dawn_

_Dear Joshua,_

_I am so embarrassed! I'm really sorry I sent that letter. I don't even remember everything I wrote, but judging how things were, it must have been bad. I guess you probably noticed that I just had my first major crush. And not a little kid crush like I had on Xander, just cause he was funny and didn't treat me like a kid. Or Spike cause he was a bad boy and all that. I feel so horrible. I didn't even realize..._

_I acted like a complete brat, to my friends, my family and even to you. And I didn't mean to, even if it all came out that way. I won't bore you with the horrible, horrible details. Mostly because they are so embarrassing that even thinking of writing them makes me want to vomit. At least it was just a stupid crush. Buffy says I should get ready to feel even more stupid when I do crazy things for real love. Well, at least I can say that I now know what everyone else has been through. How about you? I won't press for details, but was there anyone you ever had a crush on?_

_In answer to your last letter, we do look forward to Thanksgiving for what it's become to us. But we haven't tried really hard to celebrate the major holidays by doing anything too special. In fact, I don't know if Thanksgiving will feel special in any way because most of the time we all eat together anyway. And the price of turkey seems really high this year. Even with Buffy working at the school, we're trying to watch our budget. _

_I remember though, a few years ago, Willow and Giles got into the biggest fight over Native American rights these days, compared to what it was. See there was this tribe that was here when the first settlers came and the white people committed so many atrocities against them. They were punished for the most stupid things. Like people stealing bread because the soldiers wouldn't let them have any. Which was just wrong. There are better ways to deal with it. I guess people's fears and paranoia's really rule them when you're fighting for survival. _

_I remember, when they were fighting, that I was thinking that some crimes are forgivable. That's why there are laws about it. We were actually discussing this in our social studies class last year. Laws that say, like, if you can prove that you were in an emergency situation or dire straits, your crime would be forgiven. I think stealing food to feed starving children should be counted like that. Or maybe getting medicine if you're going to die. Or breaking into a house so you don't freeze to death. Those things are understandable and forgivable. I just wish more people thought that way. _

_But there are stupid laws all over the country. Did you know, getting back to the Thanksgiving stuff, sort of, that in Montana, it was illegal for the longest time for more than three Native Americans to gather in one of the cities, in public? Apparently it constituted a war party and there was no penalty for killing the Natives. How horrible is that? Or like laws that say unmarried women can't fish by themselves on Sundays? Like, where do people come up with those things? Are there any strange laws in Seattle? I think some of them are so stupid they're funny, but I bet most people don't even think about them or maybe even know about them. Maybe that would be another fun social project we could do. Messed up laws and the people that unknowingly break them. What do you think?_

_Your friend, _

_Dawn_

_Dear Joshua,_

_I'm very sorry if something in my letters has upset you. I didn't mean to. I'm really hoping that you've just been too busy to write. I don't think I could handle it if something bad happened to you. I just really need a friend right now. The other day, I had a really bad dream, about my mom. Some of the things she said..._


	8. Care Package

**Title: Accidental Pen Pals**

Chapter Title: Care Package

Author: Restive Nature

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to BtVS or Dark Angel. They belong respectively to Whedon & Mutant Enemy and to Cameron/ Eglee. No infringement is intended and this fiction is for private enjoyment only.

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Crossover

Type: Friendship/ Humor

Pairing: Dawn/ Joshua (as friends)

Summary: All she asked for was a little help on a school project... but this IS Dawn we're talking about here.

Spoilers/ Time line: This is Season 7 for BtVS and Season 2 for Dark Angel. But things have been skewed for BtVS so that the show fits into the Dark Angel format of Post-Pulse.

Feedback: Always welcome!

Distribution: Ask first please.

A/N: This is a response to the Pen Pals Challenge. For challenge details, please see the first chapter.

Accidental Pen Pals

Chapter Eight

Care Package

_Dearest Dawn,_

_I am so very sorry for making you worry. It was not my intention. Just as you were having trouble before, so was I. It is very painful for me to write this, but I do not want you to feel as if you have done anything wrong. _

_I am sad and have not written back to you because my younger brother, Isaac was killed. There were many things wrong or maybe I should say bad for Isaac. He was hurt and scared and did not know what he was doing. And because he was scared, he was hurting other people. I feel pain in my heart, because I knew this, but I did not do the right thing to stop him, when it mattered. _

_I have dreams now too, like yours with your mother. I hear the bad things in my head. I wonder if I had told someone, or found Isaac before he was so badly hurt, if it could have been different. My father wanted me to take care of him, to watch out for him and I failed. I hear this most often in my dreams. And I hear too that my friends will turn away from me when they see and think of Isaac, who looked so much like me. That Max will realize I truly am a monster, even though it was her that Isaac tried to hurt last. That Cindy will see blood on my hands or Logan, who is a good man and tries to help us, will turn away not only from me, but from Max, who loves him. I fear most the look that will be on my father's face when I tell him that his beloved son is dead. _

_These are the dreams that haunt me, even when I am not asleep. And now I am scared that you will not want to be my friend, knowing that I am not a good person. I didn't stop my brother. People were hurt and some people died. Not just Issac. I hid him and the truth about him away from others instead of asking for the help that deep inside, I knew that he needed. I just did not think that anyone would understand. _

_I am sorry if this makes you feel differently about me. I will understand if you no longer wish to be friends with me. I will cherish the letters that I had from you, for the rest of my life. They have been like sunshine in my life._

_Yours respectfully,_

_Joshua_

_Dear Joshua,_

_I am so so so sorry about your brother. I have no idea what to say. I never imagined that you were dealing with something so monumentally huge. And I also don't know whether to be outraged that you would think I don't want to be your friend because of some mistakes that you might have made that turned out so tragically. Or extremely pissed off that your friends seem to have never shown you that nothing could turn them away from you. Maybe they've never had the chance until now. I hope they are as true to you as our real friends have been to Buffy and I. _

_I'm glad my letters have meant something special to you, because yours mean the world to me. They are something sweet and innocent, brightness in the dark and dreary that I sometimes live in. They are untouched by everything around me, one place where I know I can always be myself, with nothing threatening to take any part of me away. Maybe that doesn't make any sense to you, but it's how I feel. _

_For now, please take care of yourself. Make sure that you eat, even if you don't feel like it. And talk to any and all of your friends. I know it's hard and I know I had trouble myself with that when I was mourning. But standing outside of this, seeing it from a distance, I would hate for you to make yourself sick over this. Physically or heartsick for that matter. When you're ready to talk, go ahead and write back. And I'll continue to write to you, unless you don't want to right now. Just let me know. _

_With love,_

_Dawn_

_Dear, dear Dawn,_

_Thank you so much for the care package. Of course I would love for you to keep writing to me. These letters, they mean so much to me right now. And now that I have had a little time to reflect, everything you wrote to me was very true. My friends remained true. Even when I did not want to talk, when I wanted to be left alone, they were all there for me. Even you. Max came by every day to make sure that I ate. Cindy even made special cookies to tempt me. And Logan brought a very special piece to mark Isaac's grave with. When I saw the tears that he did not cry, I knew then that we would be okay. He is a very good man. _

_I took the time to read again the letters that you have sent me recently. I smiled when I read about RJ and I knew, without having to read the next letter to know, that he was a crush. That is a very funny word to use for a romance feeling. Is it because at any moment you would feel that your heart is crushed if the object of the crush doesn't notice you? I knew that it was just a starting feeling or not big yet, because you talked about how RJ looked, or what he did. You did not say what his passion was, how he treated you, the things you shared. I do not think a teacher counts. Ha ha. _

_I have never had a crush, as you put it, on someone. There have been girls and women that have been nice to me. But they are more like friends. I think it would take a very special girl to like someone like me. And I don't think there are many out there in the world. I have my friends and I am content. For now at least. _

_I do not have much more to say. So I will go warm up some soup that Max left for me, because I do want you to know that I am trying to take care of myself. I decided that I need to be okay, because who will remember Isaac and the wonderful things about him, but me? Maybe I still have something good to offer this world. _

_Joshua_

_Dear Joshua,_

_I am so glad that you said that. The last line you wrote last time. So many people don't realize that even the little things they do can matter so much. I remember my mom, of course, but the things I think most on are things like, how she would come up behind me and hug me around my middle. How she called me Punkin belly. The feel of her hand as she checked my temperature on my forehead. The smell of her perfume when she helped me with homework. Those are my strongest memories of her. _

_She always believed that we all had something to contribute to the world. And with Buffy and I, when it wasn't what she or we or anyone for that matter expected of us, she still saw the strength in what was there. I remember once, my sister was in trouble with school. And not just her grades. The principal was a really gross little troll who seemed to hate children. I really don't know why so many of those types want to be teachers. Anyway, he put Buffy in charge of the parent's night, when all the parents go to the school to see the projects that the kids are working on. And talk to the teachers of course. _

_Well, Buffy tried her best to make sure everything was perfect. And it started out okay, even though we all knew that the teachers weren't going to have good things to report about her. But then, a gang of rowdies crashed the school, looking to deface it or something. And a couple of the guys, they were on drugs or something and they got violent. But it was _MY _sister that kept everyone safe. And my mom saw this. And she told Buffy that it didn't matter what her grades or her teachers said. When it mattered, my sister had her priorities right. _

_You know, it was only recently that Buffy and I started to understand each other. I think I can tell you that I was jealous for so long of her. She's a very special person. But I get now that it wasn't something that she went looking for. It's hard for me to remember that sometimes. She's my sister, always. But sometimes she has to put that aside to take care of other things. It felt for the longest time that she didn't want the burden of taking care of me, that she didn't want me around. I never understood why. I felt like she hated me, that I came along and ruined this perfect little life that she had. I get now that it wasn't perfect then, and it's not perfect now. _

_At least she let's me into her life too, instead of circling around it, desperate to be noticed. I used to sit in front of my mirror sometimes, feeling like a ghost, like no one could see me. Maybe I had to see myself first, before I knew what I wanted my family and friends to see of me. _

_Oh, I'm sounding so strange. I guess feelings are like that. And I had totally meant to cheer you up. But thinking of my Mom, missing her always and seeing Buffy trying so hard to be like her... It makes my throat close up a little and I get this funny taste in my throat and oh! I was going to ask you and before I forget, but mostly because I don't want to start crying about my mom, what kind of cookies do you like? I sent the chocolate chip ones because who doesn't love chocolate chips? But really, what do you like? And what's your favorite food? I like to experiment, but well, that doesn't always turn out so well. _

_Let me know!_

_Dawn_

"'Nother letter for your sweetie there Dawn?" Xander's voice asked from behind her and Dawn jumped in her seat. Spinning around, she mock glared at Xander.

"He's not my sweetie," she protested, relieved that she had already just sealed the letter. Now it only needed addressing, which she turned to do before she forgot and the letter got lost in the sea of papers that she regularly brought home from school. "We're just pen pals."

"You sure about that?" Xander grinned as he leaned on the back of her chair, reading over her shoulder. But it was just her math assignment that was on top of the pile. "That's an awful lot of letters between you two."

"I'm sure," Dawn grinned. It would have been hypocritical of her to say that she hadn't had the occasional thought that it would have been totally cool if she had a pen pal that was a complete sweetheart of a hunk that exchanged letters with her. Getting to know who she truly was before the curiosity could no longer be contained and he showed up on her doorstep to sweep her off her feet. And then they could all ride off into the sunset together. Dawn snorted to herself as the silly grin grew.

Yeah, as if!

And while she was at it, her parents would be living and together, totally accepting of anything that came their way. Demons and Vampires wouldn't exist and Buffy would be the big sister that every kid wanted. Not because she knew five ways to kill a being with just one hand, but because she'd be cool with letting her little sister borrow her leather pants whenever she wanted.

"We live in the real world Xander," she added with a sigh that was only part mournful for a fantasy life that would never come true. Wishes were just that because the reality of them was just that. Reality was harsh and cruel sometimes. But it was beautiful as well, to balance out the hardships. That's why there were two different words for such concepts. She knew that now. A lesson painfully taught on Buffy's last birthday. All because Dawn had been a needy little brat.

"Well, real world or no," Xander sighed, "we've got some real work to do. You coming?"

"Yeah, I'll be right there," Dawn nodded. She finished writing out Joshua's address with a flourish and then rose to place the letter on the mantle piece. If she didn't get to it herself, she was pretty sure that Buffy or Willow would for her. She smiled as she moved out of the dining room, flipping off the light switch as she went. It was good to have the family of friends that she did.


	9. Discovery

**Title: Accidental Pen Pals**

Chapter Title: Discovery

Author: Restive Nature

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to BtVS or Dark Angel. They belong respectively to Whedon & Mutant Enemy and to Cameron/ Eglee. No infringement is intended and this fiction is for private enjoyment only.

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Crossover

Type: Friendship/ Humor

Pairing: Dawn/ Joshua (as friends)

Summary: All she asked for was a little help on a school project... but this IS Dawn we're talking about here.

Spoilers/ Time line: This is Season 7 for BtVS and Season 2 for Dark Angel. But things have been skewed for BtVS so that the show fits into the Dark Angel format of Post-Pulse.

Feedback: Always welcome!

Distribution: Ask first please.

A/N: This is a response to the Pen Pals Challenge. For challenge details, please see the first chapter.

Accidental Pen Pals

Chapter Nine

Discovery

"So what are your plans?" Buffy asked as she took a seat near Dawn. One glance at her older sister told her that she wasn't so much interested as she was trying to distract herself from her suspicions about Spike. Dawn felt a quiver of sympathy. She really vacillated on her feelings on Spike. One the one hand, he was an excellent, if strict sitter, at least when it came to protecting her. On the other hand, he had tried to rape Buffy. On another hand, he had gotten his soul back and was a complete loony bin mess. Worse than Buffy had been when that demon had gotten her last year. At least there had been an antidote to that crazy. But on the other hand, Spike was always kinda crazy and he had tried to rape her sister. Shaking her head slightly, Dawn leaned over from her position on the couch, reaching for her backpack on the floor, nestled against the coffee table leg.

"Nothing on my plate," she sighed as she hauled the menace to her lap, "but something nice! Look!"

"Look at what?" Buffy demanded, staring in consternation as Dawn's hands fiddled with the zippers.

"Well, I know I was out the first time around, thanks to various emergencies," Dawn grinned, looking forward to seeing what Buffy thought. She had liked what she had gotten and hoped her sister would approve. "And I know you said we couldn't afford it, but um- well..."

"What did you do Dawn?" her sister asked with surprisingly, an indulgent look and that tone of voice that told Dawn she had her sister's full attention now.

"Well, you remember how I helped those kids with their lemonade stand over the summer?" Dawn prompted and Buffy nodded, with an eyebrow arched inquiringly. "And I never told you, but they gave me a cut of the profits..."

"How much did you make?" Buffy was startled and Dawn grinned again and shook her head.

"Enough to do this as a surprise and it's totally legit, paid the cash myself, no sticky fingers," she promised as she pulled the envelope from her back pack at last. "I mean, I had to get the smallest package, but still..."

Buffy was silent as she took the portrait package from her sister's hands and stared through the clear plastic window at her sister's beaming face mirrored in the school portrait.

"I mean, since we had too for our id's anyway," Dawn pushed a little, hoping to justify this enough that Buffy wouldn't be upset. She knew her sister had had to get a picture as well, as part of the support staff faculty. Her sister stayed silent and she went on. "It's just the five by seven and a handful of wallets," she added. "I was thinking maybe we could include them in Christmas cards to the family. If we do cards. Or... or..."

She was stunned as her sister stood suddenly and stalked off. Dawn sank back into the couch and stared after her sister's retreating form. A little worriedly, she began to gnaw at her lower lip, wondering how long this snit would last. Her eyes widened though when Buffy almost instantly re-emerged from the kitchen, holding a shiny, sharp pair of scissors.

"God, these are gorgeous Dawn!" Buffy enthused as she skirted the coffee table to resume her seat. "And I know just the perfect frame. Remember that silver one that has the picture of our trip to Knox Berry Farms?"

Dawn nodded, the sweeping relief making her smile a little shaky.

"It'll go nicely with the blue background," Buffy continued as she started cutting apart the wallet versions of Dawn's school pictures. "And if you want, we can give some to friends as well as the family."

"So you're not mad?" Dawn finally exploded with the curious question. Buffy paused in what she was doing to give her sister a strange look and then burst out laughing.

"Why would I be mad?" she demanded with a half grin. "Dawn, that was your money. And I'm proud of you for sticking to your guns. I bet you were tempted though, huh?" she chuckled before trimming up the pieces in her lap.

"Ugh, so totally," Dawn admitted with good grace. "There were these cute little shoes at the mall and oh, it was so hard."

"Yup," Buffy confirmed as she nodded her head. "Definitely my sister."

"So," Dawn began, now that the difficult portion of her imagined conversation was over, noting that Xander had wandered back into the yard. He had been out getting more supplies for fixing up portions of the house.

She wanted to get this request out of the way before he wandered all the way in. She'd already had enough teasing to last on this certain subject. "Do you think... would it be okay, if I sent Joshua one of the pictures?"

"Your pen pal friend?" Buffy clarified her voice thick as she seemed to think the idea over. "I don't know," she sighed after a long moment. "I mean, on the one hand, he already has your name and address, knows the school you go to... if he were going to be stalking you, you've already given him enough ammo to start."

"Buffy," Dawn heaved an annoyed sigh and then felt her sister's hand on her hair.

"I'm just teasing Dawn," Buffy chuckled. She passed several of the wallet sized pictures to her sister. "He's your friend, so if you want to send a picture, more power to you."

"No more teasing please," Dawn groaned. "I already get enough from Xander."

"All right," Buffy nodded and then glanced up the stairs. "I wish Willow would hurry up."

"Well, she had to walk down to the butcher's shop," Dawn reminded her, glancing up at the ceiling as well. So far all was calm, but with Spike, you never knew what was gonna happen. "She'll be back soon."

"Okay," Buffy nodded, sounding unsure, but then she snagged a few of the picture. "So one for the frame and one for my wallet, and one for my desk at work-!"

"Hey, quit bogarting my pictures," Dawn squealed happily as they had a minor tug of war over one of the sheets. "And why would you want my lovely face on your desk. Don't you see me enough there as it is?" she demanded childishly, though thoroughly pleased.

"'Cause the last picture of you from school that I actually got was from seventh grade and your hair!" Buffy chortled as Dawn's eyes grew large.

"Ugh! Take it, take it," she waved her hand graciously as Buffy then gathered up the pictures she had claimed. "But Buffy, you know we own all the pictures in the house, right? I mean, our pictures, not what Willow and Tara hung up. I mean," she hurried to rush on, "you could have just taken one."

"I know," Buffy nodded as she rose from the sofa and found the bag that contained the wallet she seldom used. Dawn watched as her sister very carefully worked the wallet sized photo into the small plastic section for that purpose and then put the wallet back into the bag. She gave her sister a glance and then gestured to the stairs. "I'm gonna go check on Spike. Okay?"

"Okay," Dawn nodded. She smiled as her sister hurried up the stairs, her mind already turning to the letter she would send next to Joshua.

_Dear Joshua,_

_Well, I finally got my pictures from school back. I hope you like it. I can't say that it's the most memorable school picture that I've ever taken, as my sister likes to remind me, but I think it does me justice. I had a lot of trouble keeping the money that I squirreled away, a secret. I told Buffy that it was tough, trying not to spend it on shoes, but to tell the truth, it was tough not buying something that would make her smile. She said she was proud of me for toughing it out to buy something like this that I wanted. And it made her smile, so yay on me! Buffy took one to put in a frame on her desk and one to put in her wallet. Just like my mom always did. And I told her that she could have taken any of our old pictures. But that was the one she wanted. I think the difference was that one of the old ones we had, she could have taken, this one, I gave to her. And me giving it to her made it more special. _

_I hope you don't feel like you have to send me a picture back, even though I'm curious as to what you look like. Maybe, if you're not comfortable with that yet, you could just tell me what you look like. I sometimes imagine what you might look like, but then, you usually end up looking like someone I already know. I mean, are you tall like Buffy's old boyfriend's? Or average height like Xander? Do you have brown hair like Xander's, or that mixed blond brown like Tara had. Maybe you're a redhead like Willow? That would be great. She always complains about her red hair making her nose freckle. _

_Maybe next letter, I'll include a picture of all of the gang. I know we have some old copies of all of us together. Maybe that would be a fun project for Buffy and I to do when we get the chance. To organize our pictures. I wonder if enough time has passed, if we're ready to look. What kind of projects have you been working on lately? _

_I'm sorry the letter couldn't be longer, but we're trying to help a friend who has been going through rough times. I'm pretty sure he'll get better, though he's in a scary bad place right now. Not because I know what he's going through. I don't. But my sister is determined to help her. And when Buffy is determined to help someone, well, let's just say that they get the help whether they like it or not!_

_With love and hugs,_

_Dawn_

"Uh Josh?" Alec McDowell, another Manticore survivor, glanced up from the sheet of paper that he was holding, an eyebrow quirked in surprise. Given the big dog man's surroundings, Alec might have thought that it was an old letter to the previous occupants that Joshua had found. But given that it was addressed to the big guy, had a recent post mark on the envelope with it and looked new, instead of old, faded or crumpled, warning bells were going off in his head. As much as he might like spiking Max's plans, or bringing her down to earth with a few well placed comments about her doomed romance with Logan Cale or general out look on life, he agreed with her one hundred percent about exposure.

"Hey Alec," Joshua came out of the kitchen, grinning as he folded up a brown paper grocery bag. "Looking for Max?"

"Uh, sort of," Alec shrugged. He had been, just out of curiosity sake. The whole episode with her 'brother' Zack returning from the supposed dead had brought up a few questions, but mostly, feeling mushy and slightly nostalgic, mostly protective of the woman that had given him his questionable freedom, he'd wanted to check in on her. But she hadn't been at home, or at work and when he'd stopped by Logan's, the man had been leaving with no sign of Max present.

"Max come by earlier," Joshua related, which Alec had already figured out. "Bring groceries."

"Great," Alec nodded, "that great, but uh," he glanced down at the sheet of paper that he held in his hand and the even more telling picture of a teen aged girl that was lying on the desk where he had found the letter. He turned, and pasting what was hopefully, not a threatening, grim smirk on his face, because Alec remembered oh so very well how easily Josh got riled, "what the hell is this?"

"Letter," Joshua told him slowly, setting the paper bag down. "From Dawn."

"Uh yeah," Alec muttered, finally letting the paper settle back on the desk. "I saw that. What I meant was, why do you have it?"

"It's mine," Joshua frowned. "Delivered this morning. Dawn is Joshua's pen pal."

Alec heaved a sigh. For all that Joshua was the first of the transgenic being made and book smart, there were a lot of things he just didn't get, was too naive about. Losing his brother had aged him some, but it didn't teach all the lessons in the world. Unfortunately, sometimes those lessons impacted with the deadliness of grenade shrapnel and anyone in the path of it got hurt. This, from what Alec could see, had all the earmarks of one of those lessons.

"Josh, look," he began, reaching for the picture of the girl. She was rather cute, for being a teenager and he could almost see how beautiful she would turn out as a woman. Physically speaking only, of course. In fact, were she older and a resident of their city, Alec would probably have made a play for her, but she wasn't, he didn't do jail bait and there was just something in her clear blue eyes that made him uneasy. "Um, I know it must be pretty crappy, always being stuck in here, but-!"

"Not Alec's business," Joshua growled out a warning and Alec held his hands up. Trying to force a peace between them that did not yet exist. "Dawn is a nice girl. Don't be mean!"

"I wasn't trying to be mean," Alec defended himself, almost pleading. "Look Joshua, maybe it all starts out innocent. A few letters here and there, and then pictures exchanged... Look!" his tone changed taking on a harshness that had been brewing underneath all along. "It's not perfect. It's not great. But it is what it is! Josh, it's not just you on the line if something happens."

"Dawn wouldn't tell!" Joshua defended, growling again and moving closer. Alec seemed torn about defending his ground and getting clear. He knew he could take Joshua down if he absolutely had to. There had been training that he had received that had taught him how to fight opponents that were bigger and possibly stronger than he, but using them on Joshua seemed like smacking a puppy that didn't know any better. Plus, not to mention the ass kicking he would receive from Max, should he hurt Joshua in any way, shape or form.

The two males stared at each other for a long assessing moment, Alec's mind whirling. Finally, he held up his hands once more. "All right, okay," he conceded. For the moment at least. "I gotta get to work. Talk to Max," he murmured, the plan already coalescing in his mind. If the big guy wouldn't listen to him, then maybe... He stepped around Joshua's personal bubble of space and began to head for the door. "See ya Josh!"

But it only took three words from the dog man to stop him in his tracks. Apparently Joshua wasn't that slow.

"Max already knows," Joshua called out, sounding almost amused and Alec turned on his heel to stare incredulously at him.

"Max already...?"

"Cindy and Logan too," Joshua added smugly. Alec's eyebrows went up as he assimilated that news. "They all tell Joshua, okay to help Dawn on school project. Okay to answer Dawn's letters. Not too much telling, but chatting okay. Don't want to tell. Don't want running and screaming from Dawn." The last sentence was said a little sadly and Alec could see then that despite being happy about the letters, Joshua was worried about it as well. Which was a total relief, because that was all he wanted. A little caution here and there.

"Wait a minute," he muttered, as things became clear in his mind. He remembered Max mentioning something like this a while ago, when she had hit him up for money for one of Josh's projects to keep him amused. "This was from when you sent that package to... where was it?"

"Sunnydale," Joshua nodded, "California. Dawn needed help for school project. Sent letter to Joshua by mistake."

"And you answered," Alec nodded. His gaze returned to the picture that lay there. "She looks like a nice kid," he offered. "But man, this is gonna get out of hand. Teenagers? Just as curious as those cats."

Joshua nodded. "Wants picture of Joshua. Or tell what Joshua looks like. Can't do that," he offered mournfully. "Dawn run and scream from that letter."

"A picture?" Alec half snorted, rolling his eyes. He could just imagine the surprise in that letter. Of course, the only picture they had of Joshua was from when that photographer, and he used the term loosely, had snapped off some inadvertent pics when Joshua had broken into the guys home, looking for his father. The pictures had been sold to a rag and had caused a minor flurry. Had it been a respectable paper, they'd have been screwed.

"No pictures of Joshua," the big guy nodded. "Ever."

"That's right," Alec nodded and then tried to smile, but it came out more of a grimace. "Not like you'd had a normal upbringing where you do that kind of stuff. And everything you did have burned to the ground," he offered sympathetically. Because he had been in the same boat. All he'd had the night that Manticore burned to shell of itself, were the clothes on his back, a weapon and a wad of cash he'd made from selling his vitamins to the guards back there. Hell, he'd been a lot better off than the majority of his counterparts. He could kind of see now, maybe why Max was so concerned about the others she had let loose.

"Yes! Right!" Joshua suddenly roared, his face lighting up. "Fire! Nothing left."

Alec eyed the big dog man warily. "What are you-?" he began to ask, but then it came clear. "Oh hey, yeah, that's a good excuse. You should use that."

"Yes," Joshua nodded. "Tell Dawn sad story." He moved over to seat himself at the desk as Alec watched with relief, finding a clean batch of notebook paper and a pen. He glanced up once more. "But what about now?"

"What d'ya mean?" Alec wondered.

"Why no pictures now?" Joshua mused. "Alec help?"

He regarded the big guy that was in some ways, more family than any of the clones or unit mates he'd had, though it would take a hell of a lot of torture to make Alec admit it and felt something soften inside himself. He was always such a big softy, he chided himself mentally. But he grinned, nodded and pulled out a chair next to the big guy.

"Okay," he began, tapping the paper. "This is what we'll tell her. Just write what I tell you and it'll be okay. For now at least."

Joshua grinned and began the letter.

_Dear Dawn,_

_Thank you so much for your last letter. I really like your picture. I am so glad that you got them and made your sister so happy. I think it must be very nice to have pictures when people are away from you. All I have are my memories. I am pleased to have your picture. Now I see you when I think of what to write. _

_I was upset that I could not do the same though. But my friend Alec, who is a friend to Max and Cindy and Logan, he told me you would understand. Before I came to live here, I lived somewhere else. I had to leave, because my home burned down. It was Max that saved me. She saved a lot of people that night. Unfortunately, we didn't have a lot of warning and had to leave everything behind. I lost everything I had that night. But what I found after, my family, more than made up for it. _

_I wish I could send you a picture also. But Alec says that my mug would break a camera. I do not know what he means by that. He is telling me that it's just a saying and to not take everything so seriously. He is now telling me to quit writing about him. He is very funny when he gets flustered. Haha! He is threatening to take a red pen to my letter, but I do not have a red pen. He will have to leave to find one and then I can write whatever I want about him. Why would he need a red pen? Oh, he tells me that it's for editing. I did not know that. _

_To get on with this letter, because I think the sound of the pen on the paper is giving Alec a headache- oh, I'm giving Alec a headache. That's funny, because I do not have a headache to give him._

_As I was saying, I wish I could send a picture, but I do not have a camera to take pictures with. Money is tight around here. We have all agreed that we need to take care of the basics before we get some luxuries. And I hope this does not hurt your feelings Dawn, but I would rather have books that I can read over and over again, rather than a camera I might break with my coffee cup. _

_But I can tell you what I look like. I am tall. Much taller than Alec. And probably Logan, even though it is hard to tell because Logan is in a wheelchair. Most of the time. He walks some, but not always. Alec says that I am rangy. Or maybe that was mangy. Alec likes to insult people quietly and then pretend that he didn't say anything. It is not a nice thing to do, but Alec had made me angry before and knows that I would break him in half if he were truly serious. _

_He says now that he really did say rangy. But that it has to do with my muscle mass compared to my height. I have muscles, but they are not obvious at first look. That is what he meant. I have long dirty blond hair. I would say it is light brown. Mostly long because no one has time to cut it. And to be honest, I don't know that I trust Max to cut it. She would just lop it off with a knife. _

_Oh, Alec says that Cindy would probably be happy to do that for me. She likes doing things like that. I might ask her next time I see her. My hair is long and I have normal features. Alec says my best feature is my eyes. But I wasn't supposed to write that. I will anyway, because Alec put it so nicely. He says that my eyes are the soulful brown of innocence untouched. Maybe they are my best feature because they are so clear. I do not think saying something nice will make Alec into a fruit, but he is rolling his eyes again. Perhaps this is something else I do not understand. _

_So, that is Joshua. The look of Joshua. I hope that helps. Thank you again for the picture Dawn. Please tell you sister that I will treasure it as much as she does._

_Your friend,_

_Joshua_

"Oh man," Willow sighed as Dawn finished reading. She was holding her stomach, wiping a tear away. "That was..."

"Funny in a sort of heartbreaking way?" Dawn asked, her voice a little thick as she folded the sheet back up to return to the envelope. Her sister, beside her on the couch touched her shoulder and nodded.

"It's horrible that he lost everything," she murmured, in agreement with her friend and sister. "But totally understandable."

"It is," Dawn nodded her agreement. She wasn't going to quibble over a little picture. Not when so much tragedy had filled Joshua's life recently. She could certainly relate to that. And height. She smiled gently. At least they had that in common. It was more than enough for her.

"That Alec though," Willow chuckled, shaking her head again. "Man, sounds like a good comedy routine in the making to me."

"It did, didn't it," Buffy chuckled. Something that she hadn't been doing lately, given the stress they were all under. "I'd almost think they planned it that way, if I hadn't seen some of Josh's other letters. You gonna write back?"

"Of course," Dawn nodded, with the tone that held the unspoken _'duh'_ in it. "As soon as I get my homework done, as per our agreement.

"Oh and tell Joshua thank you for me," Buffy added as her sister pushed off the sofa to gather her backpack. "I'm just... it means a lot to me that there are other people in the world that aren't related to us, or well, you know, that think so highly of you."

"I will," Dawn nodded, blinking a few tears clear from her eyes. She smiled down at her sister, their hands clasping for a moment, before the moment was over and they broke apart to continue on with their day.

_Dear Joshua,_

_I absolutely loved your last letter. It totally made my day. And not just my day, but Willow and Buffy's too. I mean, not that we were happy to hear about the fire. That was a tragedy, of course. But you and your friend Alec? Well, Willow was almost rolling on the floor laughing at the two of you going back and forth. Have you ever thought about doing a comedy routine? You two were hilarious. _

_I totally understand about the camera and the books. I guess we all make choices about what's important to us and given your situation, I would chose something that gave me that warm tingling happiness whenever I had it, over something that was a once in a while thing. Or who knows, maybe a camera would be fun. I had a friend who got a digital camera for her birthday. It was great the first few days, but once she had taken pictures of everything in her life, she got bored with it. She let her brother use it and he took all these great pictures of just... life. Not just people, but animals and nature and some of his stuff was pretty amazing. I get that they're pretty expensive though. And since I want you to be a happy, healthy, well taken care of friend, I won't quibble about that. _

_I'm glad you told me that you're tall. I'm not the tallest person here by any means, but I tower over my sister. What I don't get is why when I'm the younger sibling, I got the tall genes. I mean, you think it would make sense, that Buffy and I got all the same genes, that we'd be the same height, right? Oh, I know I've taken enough biology classes to understand that the process for picking one gene trait over another isn't as simple as A+B=C. But thanks to what you wrote me, I will now be able to paint a better picture of you in my mind every time I write._

_Your friend,_

_Dawn_

_P.S.- Buffy told me to tell you 'thank you' about what you said about the picture. It really touched her. And between us? She really needed something to make her smile today. So I thank you too. From the bottom of my heart._

_D._

Joshua stared at the letter in his newly stained hands, covered in the paint splotches from his most recent work. He had just recently, a few days ago really, discovered a new passion. It had all started when he had gone roaming through the house to find Max a pencil, while she was working on a problem with that virus bitch. Instead of the pencil, he had found art supplies. Entranced, he had begun experimenting.

And in it was the passion that Dawn had spoken of. Joshua smiled widely as a brilliant new idea flashed into his head.

He couldn't send Dawn a picture of himself. But he could certainly paint her and her sister one. That would make them both smile, wouldn't it? And with Christmas coming up, it would make a nice gift from him to his friend. He was quite sure that it would and at the same time, it would give Max and Alec no worries. Because a self portrait? It would be who he Joshua was on the inside. Not the rangy doggy dog that made people run and scream.

Letting the letter fall to the table, Joshua hurried to find a fresh palette, his mind whirling with ideas. Joshua #2 was forgotten, for the moment, in favor of Joshua- The Truth.

Now, if only he still had some of that chocolate mousse color left. It would be nice for his eyes...


	10. Self Portrait

**Title: Accidental Pen Pals**

Chapter Title: Self Portrait

Author: Restive Nature

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to BtVS or Dark Angel. They belong respectively to Whedon & Mutant Enemy and to Cameron/ Eglee. No infringement is intended and this fiction is for private enjoyment only.

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Crossover

Type: Friendship/ Humor

Pairing: Dawn/ Joshua (as friends)

Summary: All she asked for was a little help on a school project... but this IS Dawn we're talking about here.

Spoilers/ Time line: This is Season 7 for BtVS and Season 2 for Dark Angel. But things have been skewed for BtVS so that the show fits into the Dark Angel format of Post-Pulse.

Feedback: Always welcome!

Distribution: Ask first please.

A/N: This is a response to the Pen Pals Challenge. For challenge details, please see the first chapter.

Chapter Ten

Self Portrait

_Dear, dear Dawn,_

_I enjoyed your last letter very much. I do not feel so bad now about not having a picture to send to you. Because I have a new hobby. A few days before your letter arrived, I was looking for something for Max. And you would never believe what I found in our basement! Art supplies. I painted a picture and Max thought it was wonderful. So I painted another and then another. _

_Alec came by the house and was so impressed with one of the paintings, that I gave it to him. And he took it to a gallery. An important Seattle art gallery. Rita, who owns it thought that my paintings were fresh and beautiful. She liked the palimpsests. Those are objects that are included in the painting that are not the paint or the canvas. She paid Alec so much money for the painting and asked for more!_

_Unfortunately though, one of the paintings, the one she liked best, I had to have back. I was not paying attention and I used Max's research papers in my art. It was very bad of me and Alec to just take everything that was laying around and not check to make sure we could use it. But Rita was very understanding. She told me to keep creating for my own sake. So I have done that. _

_I hope the package I sent arrives with this letter. I thought, since I do not have pictures to send, I could send this instead. And since it is almost Christmas, this could be your gift. I am so very excited this year, since I will have gifts for everyone! Cindy said that she would help me decorate the house. She is very kind and trimmed my hair for me. After she washed and conditioned it with a special liquid treatment she found for damaged hair, like mine. _

_I can't wait to see what you sent me in the specially marked package. I guess every day what it might be. But I also wonder why we have to wait until that one special day. I get jitter knees when I think about it. Max laughs and tells me that it is part of the fun of Christmas. She has to work every day up until Christmas, but has that day off. She is coming over to spend the entire day and night with me. Cindy would come too, but she is going to visit her family. She said that she will plan something fun with me on New Year's Eve. _

_Logan gave me several books to help me understand Christmas. But they are not all fact books. Some of them are fiction. I like Rudolph's big red nose. He was so different from the other reindeer. But he was the most special of all in the end. I want to be Rudolph next Halloween! I still wonder right now, what the days will bring and why they can't pass faster. _

_Right now, I am working on a window scene. I look out my living room window every day and there is so much life. I try to capture a little bit at a time. So far, I have post man who comes to deliver the mail. A little dog that stands at the corner and barks at me. Light posts that flicker all day and night. The houses across from mine, are not hard. But some of the people that pass by a lot, are. They change their faces all the time. Happy to sad to scared to worried. It's like a new picture every day._

_For now I will close and say, I wish you happy Holidays. I know not everyone celebrates them, but I hope you do. In some way. And Happy Hanukkah to your friend Willow. She is Jewish, right? Does she celebrate the ways of her people? One of Logan's books was about Jewish traditions too. Oh, I was saying goodbye, but I got all excited again. I will go paint now. Max's gift needs a finishing touch!_

_Your friend, _

_Joshua_

"Oh my God!" Dawn squealed as she finished reading her letter. It was softer, quieter than it normally would be, given that there were relative strangers in the house. It had been an eventful few weeks.

"What's got you squealing Dawnie?" It was Willow that asked, good natured enough, though Buffy, Xander, Anya and Giles were all looking at her expectantly. None of them had been expecting a delivery man to show up at their door. The package that had arrived at the same time as the letter, had listed Dawn as the recipient, so she had been called down to sign for it. And it was good that she had read the letter first.

"I think Joshua sent me a painting for a Christmas gift," she explained, wide eyed, glancing down at the moderately sized package that was leaning against her knee. "I mean, he said that he hoped it was in time for Christmas, which it is, of course."

"Oh wow," Buffy offered, wide eyed as she regarded it as well. "I wonder how he..., sorry none of my business."

"No, no," Dawn shook her head. "Not just any art. _His_ art!" She waved the letter at her sister. An obvious nonverbal indication to read it. Buffy stepped forward to take it from her, skimming quickly through it as the others waited semi patiently. Dawn was just about to reach down and start opening it, when Buffy's hand shot out to stop her.

"Nuh uh!" she commanded imperiously and Dawn looked up at her, indignantion written all over her face.

"What? It's for me!" she demanded petulantly. Somehow Buffy had managed to re-create the look her mother gave her when she had been caught getting into something that she knew better than to be getting into. Or in other words, the 'I-see-your-hand-caught-in-the-cookie-jar' look.

"Yeah, but Joshua wanted you to have it for Christmas. So you can wait," Buffy argued calmly and reasonably.

"Not fair!" Dawn wailed. "Joshua didn't say specifically..."

"Yeah, but the intent is there," Buffy chuckled, eying her sister, as if waiting for the devious wheedling to set in. "A few more days Dawnie."

"Forgive my curiosity," Giles interrupted, stepping forward as he settled his thinly framed glasses on his face. "But who precisely is this Joshua? And how do you know him?"

Dawn glanced at her sister and closer friends. She knew that Giles was just looking to protect his Slayer from any unknown anomalies that might put them in danger. But hadn't Buffy and the others and even Giles himself all said that Giles had walked away from his duties as Buffy's watcher to allow Buffy to grow into the roles she needed to define? She knew he had because that was why he had planned to leave so many times and actually carried out that threat. Of course Buffy had been dead that one time. But then he'd come back and left again.

And one of those roles that he wanted Buffy to grow into was taking care of Dawn as an adult and sister, not just being a set of sisters under their mother's watchful eye. Or a big sister to a kid sister. And not just Slayer protecting the Key. Demanding to know about Joshua was kind of a slap in the face of Buffy's abilities. Abilities she had learned and possessed that Dawn thought were just fine.

She opened her mouth to defend her sister, but Buffy beat her to it.

"He's a pen pal of Dawn's, through a school assignment," Buffy explained simply. "She contacted him first and their friendship means a lot to both of them." She stepped forward to stand before her old mentor. And Dawn was completely amazed to see both Willow and Xander mirroring her moves. She might not have a degree in psychology, like her sister might have studied for in college, but she certainly recognized a united front when she saw one.

"Their letters make each other happy," Xander added softly. "They can talk to each other about things that maybe aren't our business."

Willow nodded to that and glanced at Dawn, almost apologetically. "He's helped her through some really rough patches. Rough times that you just weren't here for Giles. No offense or anything."

"No," Giles smiled sadly at them all, glancing quickly and briefly at Anya to see if she had anything to add. But she was strangely silent on the matter, it all being relatively new information to her as well. And then he refocused on Dawn. "I didn't mean for you to feel you had to justify your friend. I was simply curious. And I do agree with Buffy. Wait for Christmas. Something special to look forward to. Yes?"

Dawn, sighing with a little theatrical pout, finally nodded and gave in. She turned to heft the package up to hip, quickly receiving help from her sister to put it in a safe spot until it was time to open it.

"And now, true to form," Xander chuckled as he watched their progress, "Dawn'll be rushing off to write another letter to her little boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend Xander!" Dawn protested with a grunt, as thhey carried the package out of the hallway. "Though I wish he was. Talks with me about anything I want. Polite, sweet, treats people decently."

"He may not be your boyfriend honey," Willow smiled widely as she winked at Buffy, who suppressed her own grin. "But at least he's sure giving you a good idea of what to look for in one."

Dawn, settling her end of the package for a moment, turned to their redheaded friend. "He is, isn't he?" She took in the amused looks on the faces of her family and rolled her eyes before shaking her head in resignation. "I'm gonna go-!" she began as Buffy set the other end down easily.

"Write to Joshua!" the original Scooby trio chimed together and then broke out into laughter that chased Dawn all the way up the stairs.

APP~APP

Alec glanced up as he heard the sounds of someone approaching the door of Sandeman's old house. He was about to ask Joshua if Max had been coming over. He was still waiting on her to help him out with his little identity mix up problem. She had promised that they'd get something figured out, but it was definitely going to be a tricky business. But before he could say anything, having to tear himself away from the television, he saw that Joshua was already moving to the door.

"Mail time," Joshua sang out softly. He waited, hidden in the shadows of the curtains that were drawn. Alec tilted his head to watch his huge sort of friend, the only one he had in these days of isolation, aside from Max who was more of a frenemy. Emphasis on the enemy. Sort of. It was a strange line he walked with her.

"Anything good?" he asked, amused, while Joshua swooped in to scoop up the single letter that had been pushed through the slot.

"Uh, make cookies," Joshua grunted, though he was still smiling as he turned the letter over.

"Yeah," Alec drawled, scratching at his temple a moment. "You lost me there big guy."

"Cindy say nice to make cookies or treats for mail man," Joshua told the younger male. "Joshua need to remember to do that. Get cookies."

"Well, just tell Max and I'm sure she'll rush out and bake 'em with her own dainty little hands," Alec scoffed. The level of devotion to the big lug from her was almost astounding. But, Alec privately had to admit that there was something about Joshua. He was such a big kid sometimes. He grinned at his own jocularity that he shared about Joshua. He was just grateful that the dog man was paper/ potty trained. That was not something he would have signed on for while hiding out at the Sandeman house.

"Yes," Joshua agreed mildly as he took a seat next to Alec on the sofa. The seats dipped slightly and Alec bit off a protest as Joshua used the television remote to lower the volume. Well, it was Joshua's house now after all and Alec did have some manners. "Cindy and Max bake. Give treats to friends."

"Nice tradition, I suppose," Alec muttered. "That another letter from your little girlfriend? Dawn?"

"Dawn a girl and a friend," Joshua agreed slowly. "Not girlfriend, like Max and Logan. Not want to get busy with Dawn."

"Yeah, that'd just land you in a whole crap load of trouble for more than one reason," Alec nodded, his eyes riveted on the flashy display of flesh in the latest video airing on his favored channel. "That girl is jail bait."

Joshua didn't bother to respond, as Alec had made his feelings clear, but had backed off when Joshua had shown he already had enough support from the people that he seemed to consider more important. Alec wasn't one to waste too much air on arguing about things like that.

Satisfied that Alec wasn't going to interrupt his letter reading ritual, Joshua carefully tore open the envelope and pulled out the familiar stationary that Dawn used.

_Dear Joshua,_

_Wow! So much has changed in such a short time. I can't remember if I told you about our friend Giles, who used to live in England, then moved here to work and then moved back home last year? Well, that's the story in a nutshell. He's very close to our family. Close in ways that I don't think I want to think too hard about. He and my mom had a momentary thing and already I'm having bad thoughts. Bad, bad thoughts, though thank goodness I didn't get the visual of that like Buffy did. _

_Anyway, Giles, which is actually his last name. But no one calls him Rupert around here, except for Spike. And I think maybe Angel did too. I'm sorry that I'm rambling, but it's very noisy around here right now, which is part of this whole story. _

_Well anyway, Giles used to be the librarian at the old high school before the big accident and the school was rebuilt. He was also Buffy's mentor. Well, after a while, he kind of realized that Buffy was grown up enough to handle things, so he moved back to England, to take up his old job. Part of that job is taking care of young women that have been removed from their families for various reasons. Watching over them. That sort of thing. I've heard the spiel before but it didn't apply to me, so I didn't pay too much attention. Until now. _

_So the other day, he shows up at our house with three of these girls. And wow, they could not be any more different from each other! Anyway, Giles came to Buffy because he thinks that she can help these girls and since they don't have the biggest budget, Buffy invited them to stay at our house. So I now have a sort of unwanted guest in my bedroom, since we only have three. Bedrooms that is. Plus the sofa downstairs. I totally agree that Buffy should help them, but having to give up my privacy? Even if it is only for a little while... Oh the sacrifices I make... But I kid. Or, I josh! Ha ha. _

_I guess I'm mostly excited because your package arrived this afternoon. I am soooooo excited to see what it is. I mean, aside from being art. That much is obvious, since you said so in your letter. But Buffy and Giles are being poopy heads and making me wait until Christmas morning to open it. I don't mean that. Mostly. I get what Giles said about having something to look forward to. Things are always tough around here, and with Giles and three more girls, Molly, Shannon and Kennedy (those are their names) it's like something is always happening that needs immediate attention. Even if it's just trying to manage meal times. _

_So I guess that's something really nice about the gift you sent. I know what you mean by the jitter knees. See, every time I think about it, it just consumes me to try and figure out what you might have painted. And I like what you wrote about your window scene. It's kind of like that inside my house. Every room I walk into something different is happening. (They eat almost constantly!) It's nice to just duck down in my room by myself and think about anything not Sunnydale related and you are at the top of my list!_

_Oh and to answer your questions, yes Willow is Jewish. She hasn't really celebrated Hanukkah over the last few years. But I know it's a pretty big deal for her since she's the only Jewish person we know really well. People tend to forget that in the middle of every day normal things because when you think Willow, you think Wicca and computers. Do you know about the Wiccan religion? Willow has been practicing since she was in high school. She's more serious about it than just someone who wants the... I don't know why people do that. _

_Have you ever known someone who believes in something, just so that they can be associated with the prestige or excitement, even if they don't understand it totally? I guess, like people hang around the popular crowd to try and be associated with it so other people would think that person is cool or friends with them. I am almost too embarrassed to say that I did that when I was trying to get to know R.J. I constantly hung around him and his friends and tried to be part of the conversation. I think I'm going to depress myself thinking about what an idiot I was around him. _

_Do you have any plans of what to do with Cindy on New Year's Eve? When I was little we always spent the night eating snacks and goodies and playing board games. Then, Buffy and I would try so hard to stay awake until midnight. I didn't make it until I was about ten or eleven years old, I think and then I was so disappointed that all we did was watch the ball drop, give each other a kiss and have a sip of apple cider. So the next year, Buffy and her friends threw a dance party for me. We had contests and everything. Xander won because he can do the Snoopy dance. And that's not something I can explain in a letter if you've never seen the show that it comes from._

_Anyway, I can hear Buffy looking for me, so I better finish this up so I can get it in the mail. It'll probably take longer to arrive, since mail is always slower around the holiday. Please tell Max, Cindy, Logan and Alec and anyone else you feel like, Merry Christmas from Dawn and the California gang. Ha, I like the sound of that! I hope you have a wonderful holiday and I really hope you like my gift. I am sure that I will adore yours._

_With love, _

_Dawn._

"Ah," Joshua sighed happily as he finished the letter and began to fold it back up. It was one he would definitely re-read later. "Good letter," he announced with satisfaction.

"Was it?" Alec muttered distractedly.

"Merry Christmas Alec," Joshua grinned. "From Dawn and friends in California. The gang."

"Yeah, back at ya," the other transgenic nodded. He was still mesmerized by something on the television and Joshua shook his head. Dawn had said show. Did that mean television? Or had she maybe seen a play about this Snoopy that her friend danced like. Maybe a musical!

"Alec?" he wondered, because of the simple expediency that none of the others were there for him to ask. "Show me Snoopy dance!" he commanded with a large smile. He would learn and then he could tell Dawn about it.

"Show you- what!" Alec grimaced, finally turning his face away from the screen. "The what? I don't dance."

"Oh," Joshua pouted a little as he tapped the envelope from Dawn on his thigh. "No show. Oh, tell Joshua the Snoopy dance!"

"I don't know what the Snoopy dance is," Alec grunted, his face twisted with puzzlement. "Who the hell is Snoopy? I've heard of Snoop Dogg, but that's old school man. Way old school."

"Maybe same," Joshua nodded. "Xander do Snoopy dance. Special dance. Teach to Joshua. Can't teach in letter."

"No, I don't suppose you could," Alec allowed, weighing the strange request. "And since I don't know, guess you'll just have to ask someone else."

"Okay," Joshua nodded, now turning the envelope end over end in his fingers. "Alec?" he wondered. "You ever pretend to like something or know about something to get close to people?"

"All the time," his friend sighed. He turned and smirked, but it was sad and made Joshua frown. "That was kinda my job, back at good old home sweet hell, wasn't it?"

"Oh," Joshua nodded. He hadn't even thought of what Dawn had said in that light. It was probably not what she meant. "Dawn do that, because she liked a boy. But she did not know him well. Had crush on him."

"Typical," Alec snorted, rolling his eyes. "How old is she? Teenager? They pretty much go through boy crushes like tissue, right?" But then he chuckled. "Actually man, everyone does it at one time or another. Like in your friends situation. Or like Max, for example. She pretends something she isn't to blend in at work and the world at large, right? I have to do it too."

"Right," Joshua nodded, inexplicably sad and angry now that Alec was showing him that it was not really a funny thing anymore. "No running and screaming."

Alec grimaced once more. He so did not want a depressed Joshua hanging all over the couch. "So you gonna write the kid back?" Wasn't that what Joshua normally did as soon as he got one of those letters?

"Uh, thought to wait until after Christmas," Joshua explained. "Tell her thank you for gift and plans for New Year's Eve with Cindy."

"Oh, that's cool," Alec nodded. "Well maybe you can read or somethin'. You like that, right?" He could feel Joshua's stare almost weighing him down. "Tryin' to watch this, man," he offered quietly, pointing at the tv he had brought into the house. Joshua studied him a moment longer and then clapped his large hand down on Alec's shoulder.

"Joshua paint soon," he declared. "Painting quiet. Not bother Alec."

"Thanks man," Alec glanced up at his friend as Joshua rose from the sofa.

"First make plans for new painting, then paint," Joshua nodded, murmuring mostly to himself. "Might need new color. Make list for Max."

"Whatever you need man," Alec agreed. "You want some music?"

"Maybe later," Joshua chuckled. Typical Alec. Anything to distract from the things he didn't want to think about. The things that hurt all the time but more when thinking of them. Manticore things. "When actually painting. Now concentrate."

"All right," Alec tossed off the easy comment and stretched his body out slightly as he prepared to get back to the mindless numbing.

Joshua carried Dawn's latest letter with him and carefully set it off to the side. He reached for the paper that he used to write back to her, glancing a few times at Alec, who was off in his own world again and smiled gently. He put pen to paper and began to write. But not the list he had mentioned.

_Dear Dawn,_

_So happy to hear again from you. Tomorrow Christmas, letter got here quick, not slow. And I understand how you feel about the new people in your house. Alec need to stay with me for a while and he is so bright and happy. Most of the time. Sometimes too loud. But there are times that I watch him and there is sadness. He felt sad when I told him what you said about pretending things to fit in. He knows that. He understands that and I think the fitting in times for him made bad memories. Alec is like a jigsaw puzzle box. Very hard to piece together and all dark inside in the corners. Light can't get in when the pieces are all together. But take a piece away to shine light and he starts to fall apart. Can't be one or the other. Like the lid is locked close and he doesn't remember where he put the key. _

_This thinking made me think of painting Alec. Not like put body paint art on. But painting a picture of how Alec looks on the inside. Not his face or the face he puts on for the world. Do you think I should? It could be very beautiful. But I do not know if he would see it like I see it. If that would make him more sad, or more determined to be brighter and happier for everyone else. Maybe I will start and see how it goes. So I will come back to this letter later and let you know what I decide..._


	11. Blessings Of The Season

**Title: Accidental Pen Pals**

Chapter Title: Blessings Of The Season

Author: Restive Nature

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to BtVS or Dark Angel. They belong respectively to Whedon & Mutant Enemy and to Cameron/ Eglee. No infringement is intended and this fiction is for private enjoyment only.

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Crossover

Type: Friendship/ Humor

Pairing: Dawn/ Joshua (as friends)

Summary: All she asked for was a little help on a school project... but this IS Dawn we're talking about here.

Spoilers/ Time line: This is Season 7 for BtVS and Season 2 for Dark Angel. But things have been skewed for BtVS so that the show fits into the Dark Angel format of Post-Pulse.

Feedback: Always welcome!

Distribution: Ask first please.

A/N: This is a response to the Pen Pals Challenge. For challenge details, please see the first chapter.

Chapter Eleven

Blessings Of The Season

"Wow," Buffy murmured. She was still recovering from her fight with the uber-vamp that she and Giles had discovered just prior to Christmas. Dawn had, in the ensuing events, her concern for her only close family left, forgotten about Joshua's present that he had sent her. Worry and fear for her sister's condition was what pounded through her day and night. But Buffy was on the road to recovery, even though her spirit still seemed not quite broken, but brooding. Determined and unsure depending on what time of the day you saw her.

So Dawn had arranged for a quiet private time just for them to open some gifts. They were sitting in Buffy's room, the one that had belonged to their mother before Willow and Tara had moved in that long ago summer. So many bad memories could be associated with this room, and Dawn found herself concentrating on the painting a little harder.

"It's amazing, isn't it?" she asked a little breathlessly. The painting was large, but not too big and Joshua had found an old frame for it. Somehow the used frame, that had been through who knew how long and what, lent a quiet seriousness that was echoed in the painting. The blues and browns were not what she had expected at all, but felt familiar inside her so that when she thought _Joshua_ it felt like the painting vibrated with his words and his jokes. It was just so right.

"I love this, right here," Buffy smiled as she stretched her hand out, not touching but gesturing to the painting. Her finger traced in the air over the section she meant. "It's like, there's his heart," she chuckled. Dawn tilted her head and then nodded after a moment.

"Yeah, it is, but almost hidden so that you only see parts of it," she noted.

"I think that was the point," Buffy mused. "That he's showing it to you little by little, but you can see how big his heart is because it echoes over here and here," she gestured to more areas. The color was in more areas and Dawn took a step back.

"Oh yeah," she giggled. "There it is." She sighed happily. "And the brown, his eyes are brown. It's like how much he sees, but he's still looking for more. Like he wants to see everything."

"And the blue," Buffy agreed. "All those different shades. Some of them make you sad, some are happy. Like he's sad by some of the things he sees, but maybe later something else gives him hope."

"This is just amazing," Dawn sniffled. Her sister glanced curiously at her and then gingerly wrapped her arm around Dawn's waist. The younger girl didn't reciprocate, knowing instinctively that Buffy's ribs were still too tender for that kind of affection and solidarity.

"You okay?" Buffy whispered.

"It's just, this is the most amazing thing that someone has given me," Dawn continued to sniffle. And then coughed. "Well, I mean aside from giving me your DNA however unknowingly or unwillingly and then saving my life and accepting me as your sister and-!"

"Yeah, I think I got the idea," Buffy retorted dryly. "What was the point?"

"Well, just that I gave all those little things to Joshua and he gave me something that's... that's like priceless," Dawn half whined. "How can I-?"

"Real friends don't count the cost of things," Buffy pressed gently. "Not like that. And I bet that Joshua is thrilled with all the stuff you gave him. It wasn't just things," she reminded her sister. "You put a lot of thought into those. Things that you like, that you think he likes and stuff that meant something to both of you. That's a better gift than just buying something expensive."

"Yeah, I guess that's true," Dawn nodded. She smiled brightly. "I mean, Mom always adored those little chintzy things we made in art class, right?" Buffy nodded along with her sister.

"So now here's the big question," Buffy sighed and Dawn paused in her perusal of the painting and musing once more. "Where are we going to hang it?"

"Oh, I was thinking maybe over the mantle," Dawn grinned. "Or maybe in the dining room. By the mirror?"

"Ehhh," Buffy hedged, grimacing slightly.

"What?" Dawn demanded, her tone rising in pitch. "You like this picture. You said so!"

"Exactly," Buffy nodded with a sage wisdom radiating from her. "And how often has Xander had to repair the living room or dining room over the last... how long?"

"It hasn't been... that bad," Dawn winced. "Okay, yeah, I see your point."

"Sooner or later, everything comes looking for a fight with the Slayer," Buffy grunted. "Or a fight with someone in this house. Sometimes even those in the house go looking for a fight," she added with a mirthless chuckle.

"That's true," Dawn sighed. "So what are we going to do?"

"Well, I see five options, three of which I doubt you'll like," Buffy chuckled, suddenly light hearted again. Or at least, as light hearted as she could muster herself up to be. "One, we could hang it in my room."

"Color scheme isn't right," Dawn denied that request instantly. Her sister smirked at her, having already deduced what the answer would be. "Number two?"

"There's Willow's room, which no, right?" Buffy shrugged one shoulder. "And the bathroom, which would be cool, but I wouldn't want people to think that we don't like it and are sticking it in there because... well, whatever."

"Yeah, no to those," Dawn shook her head. "So that leaves...?"

"Your room or the upstairs hallway," Buffy declared. "Now, the hallway offers everyone that comes up the chance to see it and appreciate it, you'll see it every night before you go to bed and put a little smile on your face. Put it in your room and you take away the everyone else seeing it."

"Uh," Dawn groaned. "Dilemma."

"I know," Buffy smirked once more. She clapped one gentle hand on her sister's shoulder before turning away. "And it's your painting so it's all on you. Just let me know when you're ready to hang it. I'll borrow Xander's level."

"Oh!" Dawn half shrieked suddenly. "I have to show it to them. You know, in case I decide it's going in my room forever!"

"All right," Buffy nodded. "I'll send them up. Sorry, but I'm not up to lugging it down the stairs and then back up again."

"Okay," Dawn nodded, her stomach twisting at the abrupt reminder of how close she had come to losing her sister yet again and in a more permanent manner than ever before.

_Seattle, WA_

_Earlier in the day_

"Merry Christmas!" Max called as she pushed the door open to bring her motorcycle in with her. She took an appreciative sniff as Alec ambled along to the hallway. He reached for her bag, just like every time she stopped in, but this time she let him take it.

"Gah," he muttered through a yawn as he carried her loaded back pack to the table. She had already brought over the bulk of her presents earlier in the week and had found an old tree for Joshua to decorate as he would. "Big guy was up at five this morning, couldn't get me to his level excitement so he started cooking and wouldn't let me get into anything until you got here," he complained. "Hope you brought something edible."

"There's some donuts in there, so shut up," she offered good naturedly as she removed her coat and threw it on the back of the sofa. "It smells good in here."

"That's the aborted mulled cider," Alec rolled his eyes as he dug through the pack for the bag of donuts that Max had carted along. His stomach was grumbling appreciably. "Scalded it, so he poured it off into a new pan and it's apparently now potpourri."

"Well, that's the whole purpose then, isn't it?" Max frowned in that special way she had. "To make the house smell good." She winced slightly and hunched her shoulders as if preparing for catastrophe. "How's the chicken?"

"Hasn't put it in yet, but he's been fussing over it," Alec chuckled. Turkey or ham was usually the choice of the day, they all knew that. Unfortunately there had been a dearth on pork that summer and fall. And turkey was extremely pricey with it's lack of commercial availability. So Max had gotten the closest thing she could, which were several five pound chickens, all dressed according to directions that Logan had helpfully written out for them. She had helped Joshua figure out the menu for that day and figured that mac and cheese from a box would be easy enough. And all he had to do was defrost the pie and put it in the oven to warm. She knew about corn and green bean dishes as well, but those came out of a can, easy peasy. Some boxed mashed potatoes maybe and that boxed stuffing and they had little to worry about.

"Well, stay out of the rest of my bag, okay," she muttered as she turned and headed to the kitchen to greet her friend. She found him just inside the door of the kitchen. "Hey Joshua, Merry Christmas."

"Happy Holidays!" Joshua boomed back. "Max just in time. Put chicken in for hour. Then eat."

Max's gaze roamed over the counters. Joshua had everything laid out in various degrees and seemed quite ready to go. "Smells good in here. Is the oven heated?"

"Yes," Joshua nodded. "Just wait few more minutes for Max. Vegetables right?" he asked, gesturing to the two pans on the stove top that each contained a chicken as well as some cut up potatoes, onions and carrots. There was a light dusting of something that held the heavy aroma, thyme, Max thought. She breathed in heartily, catching that as well as the potpourri.

"Exactly right," she nodded. "Is there some liquid in there? And where did you get the potatoes and stuff from?"

"Chicken stock from can," Joshua nodded. He pointed at the discards in the trash bin. "Alec call in favor," he chuckled, answering the other question.

"Excellent," Max nodded. "Let's put them in." They busied themselves for just a moment doing so and when the oven door was shut, she checked her watch. "Okay, we come back in 45 minutes to check on it and put the rest of the vegetables on. Is the pie out?"

Joshua once again gestured to the counter and Max saw the boxed dessert with a light rime of frost still on the edges. She nodded and patted his shoulder blade. "Ready to open presents now?" he asked hopefully and Max chuckled.

"Of course," she nodded. "It was so nice of you to wait while I dropped off Logan's to him."

"Yes," Joshua nodded. "Logan like gifts?"

"He loved them," Max assured him. "He hung that painting up right away, in the front hallway. He is so proud to be one of the few people in the world that own an original Joshua!"

"He's been making enough of 'em," Alec scoffed through a mouthful of donut. He held the bag out to the bigger man as he passed by but Joshua shook his head in the negative.

"Already ate breakfast," he grunted as he took a seat right next to the tree. "Save appetite for lunch now."

"You already ate?" Alec's eyes went up in disbelief. "What? When!"

"In morning, make eggs scrambled and toast," Joshua grinned. "Offered to Alec, but didn't want to wake up.

"Maybe if you had offered him coffee first," Max chuckled. She was the same way some mornings.

"Out of coffee," Joshua informed her easily. "Had green tea instead."

"Oh, why didn't you say," Max complained gently. "I can get some more for you. If you want."

"Or I have a can stashed," Alec explained. "Might as well use it, since Josh doesn't drink that much of it."

"Okay," Max nodded. "I'll head over tomorrow. Anything else you want?"

Alec, not wanting to question her good nature or spirit or whatever it was shrugged. "Maybe just a small list. We can haggle later," he offered carefully. Max gave him a small smirk.

"All right," Max agreed. "Okay, Joshua, present time!"

As if he had been waiting for just that moment, he dove into the relatively small pile and began divvying up the packages of various sizes. Both Max and Alec were surprised to see that they had each gotten the other something, perhaps it was manners or Joshua's influence. But their interest in their own was pushed to the back as they saw Joshua running his fingers over the present that Dawn had sent to Joshua. The box was the largest there, though still not too big. He chuckled then and glanced up at Max.

"Want to save specialness a little longer," he explained before moving his hand to a different present. And though Alec kept examining with pleasure, the gift he had in his hands. Max waited to watch Joshua open his first gift, which turned out to be Cindy's. It was a two fold gift. One part was a very special, hard to find, really expensive hair conditioner. It was to be used twice a week and Cindy had written out the instructions for him. The next was a boxed set of books. Joshua was over the moon about it and carefully folded the paper away after studying it for a moment. When he saw Max watching, he grinned.

"Need palimpsests," he explained wryly and Max smiled indulgently. She quickly encouraged him to open more as she carefully tackled her own. Joshua was impressed when Logan gave him a nice box full of wafer crackers and cheese spreads with little pots of jam. And a jar of hot chocolate. The entire package was carefully put together with new things mixed with familiar, in a basket that Joshua could use later somewhere in the house.

They continued on, until at last was Dawn's solitary package. Alec leaned forward with the pocket knife that he had received from an admiring Normal who had sent it through Max. Joshua used it to open up the packaging and let out an exclamation when he opened the flaps.

"Little little presents!" he sang out and began removing each from the box. No package was wrapped in the same paper twice and everyone's eyes grew wide when Joshua handed one of the gifts to Max.

"Why don't you just open them one at a time?" she suggested gently, but Joshua's answering grin was wide.

"Not for Joshua," he replied and Max glanced at the shiny foil sticker that had her name written on it.

"Oh, wow," Max breathed out and noted that Joshua was holding one out for Alec, who looked completely mystified. "Is there a card or anything?" she wondered, surprised that a teen girl that she didn't know but barely, through the letters she had written to Joshua that he had allowed her to see, would be so sweet.

"Aha," Joshua nodded and held up the slim card that had been tucked in the side. He carefully worked the square envelope open and pulled out a festive card. He opened it and several things slid out. He glanced at them and laughed. "Picture of friends! Dawn promised." He looked it over carefully and then laughed again. "Dawn say she have to sneak it from her sister's photo frame and make copy. Then sneak it back. There is Buffy, Willow and Xander. Says it was her mother's favorite picture." He passed it over to Max who studied with interest the trio. The redhead had to be Willow and Xander was the male, so that left the petite blond as Dawn's elder sister. They looked so young to her jaded eyes. She glanced at the back and saw that someone, Dawn probably had written in small letters, _Sunnydale, spring 2015_ to explain at least part of the picture.

She glanced up, handing the picture to Alec, who was leaning in her direction. He took it and gave a low wolf whistle that had her rolling her eyes, before turning back to their larger friend who was opening another envelope. "What is it?" she wondered.

"Oh, explains gifts for friends," Joshua nodded. "Wanted to thank everybody for helping with her project and helping us become friends."

"That's so sweet of her," Max cooed with surprise.

"Might want to wait about saying that until after we open them," Alec quipped and ducked back before Max's hand could shoot out. Her eyes promised retribution later. He smirked and turned to opening the flat package that Joshua had handed him. But he seemed to rescind his opinion automatically as he lifted out a pair of leather riding gloves from the box. "Oh man, these are top of the line!" He turned them over in his hands several times, obviously stunned before noting a small detail. "And look, she stitched something in the lining."

"Uh huh," Joshua nodded. "Dawn say, Gaelic blessing to protect the wearer and keep hands warm when working."

"Cool," Alec nodded. "I'll be wearing the hell out of these this winter." He affected a shiver over the thought of the rainy Seattle weather. He carefully worked one of the gloves on and whistled again. "Man, I thought they were gonna be a little large, but whoa, perfect fit."

"Like a glove," Joshua barked a laugh and Max joined in. "Now Max. Dawn say Max and Cindy's gift similar."

"Okay," Max nodded. "Does she say what yours are? Or do I need to take that list from you?"

"Dawn explain how she made or why she chose my gifts, no specifics," Joshua explained as Max opened a very small jewelry box.

"Oh, an anklet," she breathed out as she worked it out of the box and her eye zoomed in on the links. "It's like a miniature charm bracelet."

Joshua nodded as he and Alec both leaned over to examine it as well. "Dawn says she used handmade silver charms. Uh, pentagram means protection, not Satan worship," he continued as Max turned it in her hands.

"I actually knew that," she told them. "And those are... ankhs? Egyptian cross of life, isn't it?"

"And some other arcane symbols that mean life and protection," Joshua agreed. He then lifted up Cindy's package. "Cindy has necklace in silver, like Max's. Dawn thought Max like for when riding motorcycle, not lose it as easy as necklace."

"Oh either way, it's an extremely nice gift," Max decided as she started working her shoe off so that she could attach it around her ankle and then twisted her foot this way and that to admire it. Joshua chuckled and when she glanced up, Joshua was reading the list again. "What is it?"

"Dawn get Logan a key chain," he told her and Alec snorted. "Logo of Sunnydale newspaper. Dawn thought he'd like the motto."

"Well, we will definitely note his reaction," Max nodded. "Now," she leaned forward in anticipation, holding her hand out, "let me see that and you get to opening!"

Alec scooted a little closer so that he could see over Joshua's shoulder the four gifts that were left for the big guy. The first that he chose, Max understood as soon as she saw the disc in the case. It was listed as the one she promised she owed him for all his help. The title that had been printed on a label, was the presentation that had been recorded for her school assignment.

"This is what she needed your help with?" Alec wondered as he read the title. Joshua nodded.

"Three places in Washington to research," he grinned and settled the disk on the side and reached for the next one as he explained. "Dawn tell Joshua she do the same for Sunnydale so Joshua know her home like she know ours." He glanced down at the gift in his hand. "This number three, where's two?"

"It's okay," Max soothed. "You don't have to open them in order. I think she did that just so you knew which gift corresponded to which explanation. This one says that this one commemorates a once in a lifetime phenomena. Go ahead and open it Joshua."

He paused for only a moment before he was ripping into it. When he removed the gift from the box, he found a snow globe. With a wondering smile he studied it as the tiny flurry from the motion of being opened settled and then saw a picture of Dawn's sister sitting with a man. They were smiling lovingly at one another and didn't seem to be aware of whomever took the picture. Joshua shook it up carefully and admired the way the snowy like substance swirled around the happy faces.

"Hey, there's a note on the bottom," Alec noted. Joshua grunted and turned the snow globe carefully. He worked his finger under the tape and opened up the small note.

_'This is Buffy & her boyfriend from high school, Angel. Angel had a very hard life & when he was at his lowest, Buffy tried to convince him that life was more than pain & suffering. There was beauty & surprises around the corner. They were up on the cliffs above Sunnydale when it began to snow the first & only time in the history of the town. She brought him home & he's grown into one of the strongest men that I know.'_ Joshua read out, squinting a little to make out the tiny print.

"Oh that's beautiful," Max sighed happily. "She made that herself?"

"Looks like it," Alec nodded. "You can see where she had a little too much material there," he gestured, pointing between the wooden base and the actual globe.

"Makes it all the more special," Joshua defended, but the other two just nodded their agreement. He sniffled slightly before reaching for the present listed as number two. Max dropped her eyes to the list in her lap.

"This is the one that you need to have, because she wouldn't dare leave you out," she read. "And she did the braiding herself. Willow was the one that suggested the material. Huh. Whatever that means," she added. Though she was far from annoyed, more amused by the words she read out.

Alec gave her a puzzled look, but Max thought that she might already know and nodded to herself when Joshua opened a braided cord necklace. There was a strange gold symbol at the bottom.

"Wicca protection," Joshua declared as he swiftly looped the necklace over his head and carefully threaded his still slightly bushy mane out of the way before settling it on his chest. "Dawn told me, Willow practising Wicca ways since high school. Cord made specially in Wicca rite probably."

"Exactly," Max smiled. "Probably blessings and protection."

"Long life and all that jazz," Alec chuckled. "Now, what's that last one?" He gestured to the slim, flat package.

Max remained quiet, not listing what Dawn had written for this one as it seemed very personal. Joshua stripped the wrapping paper away and lifted up the book that Dawn had sent. Joshua gasped as his hands cradled the book and then hugged it to himself, glanced up at Max once and then back down to the book and carefully opened the cover.

"A book?" Alec asked doubtfully. But Joshua was shaking his head.

"Second edition Peter Pan," he explained. "Belong to Joyce, Dawn and Buffy's mother. Favorite story to read when little."

"Oh man," Alec seemed surprised. "That is a nice gift for you big guy. What're those?" he wondered, gesturing to where bits of paper were sticking out. His question caught his friends curiosity and Joshua turned to where the first was sticking up from between the pages. It turned out to be a picture of young Dawn in bed, her mother reading to her, both with soft smiles on their faces for the picture taker.

"Joyce beautiful," Joshua nodded. "Like Dawn said." He carefully inserted the picture back in and turned to the next one. As soon as he saw it, he started laughing. Dawn was dressed up as Peter Pan and Buffy was Tinkerbell. A man that was not familiar stood behind the girls, looking proud and happy. "Must be their father," Joshua decided. He continued roaming through the book, finding the copies of pictures that had Dawn, her family or friends, reading or being silly. When he closed the book, Max chuckled. "What?"

"Dawn wrote how many pictures there were," Max explained. "You haven't found them all yet."

Joshua nodded and quickly explained. "Leave some for when I read," he announced. "Find new pictures like new gift each time."

"That sounds like fun," Max agreed. "It was a really good idea to share her pictures that way."

"Oh Alec, look," Joshua chuckled as he turned back to one of the girl's friends. He had seen what was written on the back and it featured Xander, his face pinched up happily, his hands down by his sides and his legs were blurred. "Xander do Snoopy dance."

"It's an epileptic seizure dance?" Alec teased as he smirked at the photo. Both Joshua and Max looked and burst out laughing.

"Maybe," Max wheezed slightly. She might have said more, but her watch beeped, reminding her of the dinner that was cooking in the oven. She laid her hand on Joshua's shoulder. "You sit, enjoy your presents. Alec and I can get the veggies on."

"Yeah big guy," Alec nodded quickly, feeling the glow of Christmas good will. "You've been a gracious host, so my turn, right?"

"All right," Joshua nodded. "Thank you." He turned back to looking over the first page of the book, his finger sliding against the golden edged pages, absorbed instantly. Max hovered in the doorway for a moment, like a prideful mother watching over her young pup, before Alec's touch at her shoulder brought her back to the moment. She smiled up at him, glad that for once, they all finally had a family to share the true meaning of the holidays with.


End file.
